Sins Are for Angels || 2Jae fanfiction

Thirteen - DoomsDay - part 1

Day 35 – Wednesday

Waking up after yesterday is odd for Youngjae. Atmospherically, he has changed, meaning that his personal space acts differently from before. There is a coldness surrounding him, the core being himself. Technically, the core is Jaebum but Jaebum is in his own home waking up and cannot be controlling Youngjae from that far away. Youngjae feels his heart yelling at him and he wonders if this is the way Jaebum lives his life every day. He is already finding it unbearable yet unstoppable. His heart yells a little louder and he mutes it a little more. So tiresome, how does he do this?

As the morning goes on, he begins to feel anger towards his pleading heart and now body. Thank god, his brain is the strongest, or... Is that really a good thing? He will have to ask Jaebum, the one thing his heart has claimed and will not let his brain have. He finds himself thankful for that.

"Youngjae!" Yugyeom comes running. Their eyes meet and Yugyeom's smile falls into a frown. "What happened?" He grabs Youngjae's arm in worry.

"I'm fine. Just like Jaebum, I am fine." Yugyeom gets a terrified look on his face as his grip tightens on Youngjae's arm, desperately trying to retract a smile from his cold expression. There is still a little light in his eyes and Yugyeom wants it to shine a lot brighter. It is not like Youngjae's eyes to hide his happiness. It is not like Youngjae's eyes to look so defeated and so cold. It is not like Youngjae's eyes to scare a dear friend. Those eyes cannot be Youngjae's.

Jackson comes running. He sees Yugyeom's panic first and he rushes over to investigate. His eyes meet not-Youngjae's and a wave of regret smacks him right across the face.

"Youngjae, what happened?"

"Just like Jaebum, I'm fine," he repeats. His eyes scream fix me and Jackson wraps his arms securely around Youngjae's body and arms. He whispers a million things into Youngjae's shoulder about Youngjae and not Jaebum, because what is the point in talking about him anymore when he has already done so much damage.

As soon as BamBam finds them, Yugyeom begins to cry. The intensity of which he is shaking is worrying, even for Yugyeom, so BamBam takes him to the nurse's office.

It is hard not to feel the abnormal atmosphere in the classroom that holds Im Jaebum, Choi Youngjae, Jackson Wang and Mark Tuan. The air is full of resent and confusion; then there's Youngjae. He is in a world of his own, completely closed off, much to everyone's confusion and his heart is hurting. He wants it to stop doing that but it is not as easy as it was just the day before. Jaebum has made it hard and he keeps looking at him with the same apologetic eyes that Youngjae used to possess. He wants to cry but his brain tells him no and those eyes force him not to.

Mark is sitting next to Jaebum, glancing over at Jackson, whose arms are tensely crossed as he stares firmly up at the teacher. He doesn't look like he is listening but he looks like he is stubbornly trying to make it seem as though he is. Now and again he will brush his hand against Youngjae's arm in a comforting way and this hurts Mark; that they have come so far and now they have ended up here. They made each other happier but slowly, as the two poles got closer to the middle, their magnetic fields no longer responded to each other. They say opposites attract and they're right but maybe they only work together as long as they stay that way even though it hurts; but then again, is this not worse? Mark expected something similar to happen. What he did not expect is how sad Jaebum looks now. He wants it to go away but he also wants to run over to Jackson and do the same with his tightened expression. He sits back and sighs. Staying quiet it is.

Lunch break has never been any more dramatic. Jaebum, Jinyoung and Mark are the first to enter the cafeteria, a place they rarely go but today it seems the only place to be. Jaebum has been feeling just as weird as Youngjae has since yesterday. By now, they have come to be feeling all of the same things simultaneously. It does not bug Jaebum as much as it would have yesterday. They sit down at a table in the corner.