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Starting after HR's funeral in season 3. Also, disregarding the existence of season 4. 

Barry sat silently in the cortex lost in his thoughts, it was the day after HR's funeral, everyone was lost, Caitlin had left, all Barry had was Iris

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Barry sat silently in the cortex lost in his thoughts, it was the day after HR's funeral, everyone was lost, Caitlin had left, all Barry had was Iris. He was happy, at least that's what he told himself. He knew he has been reckless lately, maybe from his time in the speed force. Seeing Eddie and Ronnie. He has hurt so many people that he loved. Cisco and his brother, Iris and Eddie, HR, Julian, Ronnie, and Caitlin. Caitlin. He repeated to himself. He had hurt her the most. First with Ronnie, then being kidnapped multiple times, Zoom, and Killer frost. He knew it was all his fault, but he also knew his Caitlin would deny it saying it somehow all her fault. She is too hard on herself. She tried hard not to become Killer frost. Maybe it was the weight she held on for so long. Her dad, Ronnie, Jay or Hunter, and him. She is broken just like him, but won't ask for help. Who knows where she went. Who knows if she is still Killer frost. Barry never admitted what he felt towards Caitlin, not even to himself. He had a feeling that she had them too, but was the same.  There used to be a small window, but Ronnie, then Jay, and Julian. After all the destiny already determined, it was Barry and Iris. Barry and Iris. Two lifelong best friends, and foster siblings... But they set that aside. Barry and Cait were friends. "But now she is gone. And she should've been mine." Barry thought. 

........

Later that day, while saying goodbye to Jay and Jesse the sky shook. The speed force was angry. In a moment of true heroism, Barry entered the speed force with no struggle saying bye to his friends and family. As he entered with his mother's hand in his, memories of the past flew by him. Memories that reminded him of happiness. Memories that made him laugh. Memories that helped him overcome struggle. Memories of Caitlin. As the lightning around him stopped flashing, he was in a memory of the future. A future with Caitlin, nearly an illusion. 

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