Destiny

Seventeen

The team agreed on the conclusion and went back to their normal lives for the day. Julian and Joe returned to work, Barry having the day off spent it with Caitlin. Iris stayed at Star Labs to monitor the meta reports, and to work on her articles. Cisco interdimensionally FaceTimed with Gypsy, and Caitlin and Barry went to Jitters.

"I can't believe we have to just sit around for God Speed to show up," Barry complained, "It's almost like letting him win. But at least that coward will show up eventually... I mean seriously, a few simple meta robbers are fine, but like a time remnant, a speedster from the future, aliens, Nazis... ugh," he groaned.

"We will beat him," Caitlin assured, "then after we can maybe start a normal life."

"Normal life?" He question taking a sip of his coffee.

"I mean I love helping people, but you don't expect us to hunt supervillians forever, do you?" Caitlin asked.

"Well that is our normal, I mean it's not what I would've chosen but it's important," Barry replied.

"But it's not safe," Caitlin said, feeling a sense of deja vu.

"I can always prot..." he started before she cut him off.

"I don't need extra armour from you, Barry!" She yelled, "plus you can't protect everyone, no matter how fast you are."

Barry paused for a second, watching Caitlin biting her lip troubled, before saying, "Why are you acting like this, what's going on?"

"This, Barry," she replied heavily, "this superhero act, metas, criminals, interdimensionall aliens."

"All things we've manged to deal with before, together," Barry interrupted.

"Not with..." Caitlin stopped in the middle of her sentence.

"With what?" He asked, with no response back. "Cait-," he said before she rushed out of the coffee shop. "Cait where you going, what's wrong?!"
...........................
As soon as Caitlin left Jitters, she started her car and started driving. She had a lot on her mind since after Barry went to visit Earth-2.

She thought about going to Laja bar to talk to Josh and Marty, but drinking didn't seem like a good idea currently. Turning onto the highway, Caitlin dialed her phone.

"Felicity?" She said through the call, "I need someone to talk to..."

..........
(Earlier after Barry left for Earth-2)

Caitlin nodded. Barry cupped her chin in his palm and lifted her head and kiss her goodbye, before going up to the platform where Cisco was opening a breach.

After Barry went through the breach, the team went to work. Joe and Julian to CCPD, Cisco monitoring in the Breach room, and Iris having the day off from journalism stayed around to help. Caitlin returned to the med-bay to continue a test.

She had felt sick a week ago, but ignored it. But now she was unsure, two days ago should have been when she started her cycle. A million thoughts ran through Caitlin's mind.

God, please say negative. It's not the right time or place. Plus with God Speed and all the other metas. Plus, we aren't even married, we've been together as a couple only a few months. Then again we've known each other for a few years. But still, it's not safe. Barry can't protect the city and a family. I can't be a mother! I'm a criminal, I'm a killer, I'm not good enough.

"Ding!" the timer went off, indicating the test was complete. Caitlin braced herself as she looked at the three home test and two professional test she had done. She had to be thorough. All of them said positive.

"Fuck..." she whispered to herself, "I'm pregnant."

.......................
Star Labs : Oliver and Felicity's house.

"Oh my gosh, Caitlin what's going on?" Felicity asked her friend, opening the door. Caitlin invited herself in and collapsed crying on the couch.

"I don't know how you do it Felicity," she sobbed, "how do you love such a normal life with Oliver becoming his alter ego a night, not knowing if everything will be okay?"

"I wouldn't call any of this normal, Caitlin," Felicty waddled over, sitting awkwardly beside her friend with her hand over her large stomach. Felicity was now six and a half months pregnant. "Barry and Oliver they love us, there just doing their jobs as heroes-"

"Ronnie loved me, he was a hero I surely didn't deserve," Caitlin wiped her eyes, "look at him now, no wait. We can't cause we didn't even find his body."

"Caitlin, we are always gonna worry if they're gonna get hurt," Felicity said.

"I know it's just..." Caitlin started, holding back saying what she need to say, "Felicity, I'm pregnant."

"Oh," Felicity sat back not knowing how to react, "does Barry know?"

"No...," Caitlin sighed, "I know I'm acting ridiculous, but am I really? The world we live in it's not safe for us, let alone a child. Especially with the metas Team Flash deal with everyday."

"All of us didn't choose this life, but it's the life we live so no one else has too. But something tells me you already know this, Caitlin what's really going on, why are you scared of starting a family with Barry so much?" Felicity asked.

"Well for the obvious reasons I just told you, but," Caitlin sighed, "Felicity, I can't be a mom. My own mother wasn't even really apart of my life. I don't know how to be a good one. Not go mention the long line of women in my family who've suffered from postpartum depression. I can't protect a child in this world we live in, fighting monsters, I can barely protect myself. And Barry, he's had enemies consume his attention before and cause him to shut others out. I don't think we're ready yet, we've been dating only a few months, and plus God Speed-."

"Caitlin," Felicity stopped Caitlin, "you and Barry, are the strongest people I've ever known, you would do anything for the people you love. You guys have risked your lives pointlessly not just for Central City, but for eachother. And you are not your mom, you're stronger. I'm sure both of you would do ANYTHING, to protect your kid," Felicity sat up to adjust the pillow behind her back rubbing her stomach, "and trust me no one's ever ready."

Caitlin sniffed starting to show a small smile, "thanks Felicity." She knew Felicty could help her calm down.

"Now," Felicity said more sternly at her friend, "go talk to Barry."

Caitlin nodded and said goodbye before she left, and started to head back home.