𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 - 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴

❦ kyle x reader - my list ❦

"Guys, I'm really worried about Kyle. He seems all sad and he's starting to miss a few days off from school. And you know how much school is important to him." I said with a worried look on my face. I stared fiddling with my fingers and looked down.

"Calm your tits, (Y/n). He's a Jew," Cartman said and rolled his eyes.

"What's that got to do with anything?!" I yelled at him, causing him to snarl at me. "Fucking fatass..." I mumbled.

"(Y/n), Kyle's fine. He's probably just getting over the fact that he's the last one on the list." Butters said, snickering.

"Goddammit, Butters." I sighed and face palmed. "Stop being so rude. And Stan," I turned to him and frowned. "You're supposed to be helping him! For Gods sake, you're his best friend!" Stan sighed, crossing his arms.

"I know, I know, but he just doesn't listen. He keeps saying he's ugly and that no one will ever marry him." he sighed once again, furrowing his brows.

"That's not true..." I mumbled, sighing.

"What was that?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"You need to tell your stupid girlfriend and her stupid friends to get a re-make of that list or something. Or just take it down." I frowned.

"Fine then, (Y/n), you tell us your own list." Cartman said smugly. I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"Well, you're obviously the last." I smiled innocently. "And I think Kenny should move up." Kenny wiggled his eye brows. "I'm not saying that you're the 'hottest' dude here, it's just that I think you're better looking than some of the guys above you."

"Aww, so you do think I'm hot," Kenny smiled and ruffled my hair. I slapped his hand away and he hissed in pain.

"Anyways," I glared at Kenny. "Clyde should be moved down a bit, and Craig should be moved up. Stan you're fine, and Butters can be kinda moved up. Tweek should also be moved up, along with Token. And as I said before, Cartman is last." I smiled, getting them all to stare at me.

"But where's Kyle?" Stan asked, staring at me and continuing to cross him arms.

"Well that's simple. Kyle's number one."

-

"Kyle, you better open your fucking door! I swear to God, if you do not open this door in five seconds I will break it down!" I yelled, banging and knocking on the door till my fists were red. "F-five!" I yelled. "Four!" I pushed on the door. "Three! Two!" he still didn't open the door. "One!" still was not open. "Three-quarters! Two-quarters! One-quarter!" That was it.

I leaned on the door, kicking and banging. "Zer-" the door suddenly opened and I fell.

"(Y/n), What are you doing here? If you're going to talk about this list, you might as well leave." I hissed in pain and got up, glaring at him.

"You could've at least have given me a warning!" I growled, crossing my arms.

"What's the fun in that?" he rolled his eyes, as I did too.

"What's gotten into you, Kyle?" I asked and put my hands on his shoulders. He gazed deep into my eyes while I looked into his own.

"I'm ugly," He pulled away and looked through his window. "No one likes me. And Cartman, how could I be after him?" he asked. I shook my head while hugging him.

"No you're not." I simply said. He sighed and turned around.

"You're only saying that because I'm your friend,"

"No, I'm saying that because in my list, you're number one." I took out my list with only Kyle's name on it. I handed it to him and he kept reading over it. "You'll always be my number one." I smiled gently. He suddenly looked up at me for a few seconds before he kissed me.

It wasn't rough or sloppy, it was passionate; just like Kyle.

He pulled away for a few seconds before saying, "And you'll be my number one..." We went back to making out.

E N D ...

Bonus Part -

Little Ike had just gotten back from the park and had been tired out. He knew he would come back hearing his older brother's loud cries of sadness, saying how ugly he is. Everyone tried convincing him he wasn't ugly, but no luck. But today was different, Ike came home hearing other loud cries.

He slowly tip-toed over to Kyle's room and knocked on it quietly a few times, but all you could hear were the cries. Ike opened the door and saw another teenage girl with (h/c) hair in a bra and underwear kissing his brother.

Ike slowly closed the door and walked back to his room. He felt all tingly and weird but at the same time he felt scarred.

E N D ...

(edited November 14, 2018)