Soft Spot

T W E N T Y - T W O

A sigh escaped my lips as I looked around my loft. Everything looked so clean and familiar. It made me feel good to be back home, but weird at the same time. I sat my bag down and laid down, staring up at the ceiling. My phone rang again for the millionth time, but I ignored it. I already knew who it was and I didn't feel like talking to her. I grabbed my phone and keys before walking out the door. I needed a drink.

I searched my closet, looking for the best back-to-school outfit I could find. It was the first day of school after spring break and I had to look good. When I finally found an outfit good enough I stared curling my hair before putting on a little makeup. I didn't usually wear makeup but today I needed it. Once I was done I grabbed my keys and walked down to the lobby, making sure to not use the elevator so I wouldn't risk seeing Nathan.  I walked down the hall to my locker, but stopped when I remembered that Joseph's locker was right next t mine. I took a deep breath and continued to my locker, quickly grabbing my bag. Just as I was done Joseph walked up. I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut, walking past him.

"Kat!" A voice yelled, and I looked behind me to see Amber running towards me, a huge grin on her face. She hugged me tightly. God why the hell was she always so fucking cheerful? "Where the hell were you? How could you bail on your own plan?" She asked, letting go of me.

"Yeah, my bad. I just wasn't feeling it after prom." I said, glancing over at Joseph. I cringed in disgust as I saw Angel walk over to him and hug him. "I think I'm going to puke." I muttered,  putting my glasses on.

"Bitch are you hung over?" Amber asked, shocked. "I thought you didn't drink anymore?"

"Things change." I shrugged, walking away. I walked into my first period class and put my head down, trying to sleep. I hadn't got much sleep last night since I didn't get home until about 3am.

"Put your head up Katherine." The teacher said for the 3rd time. This lady really couldn't take a hint. I sighed and stood up, grabbing my bag.

"I'm going to the nurse." I muttered before walking out. I really didn't feel good and that damn teacher wouldn't shut her mouth. I walked to the back of the school and sat down, leaning my head against the building. I heard footsteps, and then felt someone sit beside me.

"What are you doing?" I knew exactly who it was by his voice.

"Well I was enjoying the quiet until you showed up." I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"No, I mean what are you doing? This isn't like you to be walking out of class and staying out getting hammered all night." Nathan said, snatching my glasses off of my face.

"Hey what the hell?" I snapped, reaching for them back. "Why don't you just mind your own damn business for once?" I got up to walk away but what Nathan said next made my blood boil.

"Why did you just disappear like that? What the hell happened to you, Katherine? So what if your little boyfriend cheated on you? That doesn't give you a free pass to act like. Bitch!" Nathan yelled, letting my arm go. I stopped in my tracks and turned around, glaring at him. I stomped over to him, and slapped him right in the mouth.

"Shut the fuck up! You have no idea what you're talking about!" I snapped, feeling the tears spring to my eyes. I blinked them away.

"Then tell me, Katherine." I turned around, feeling the tears run down my cheek.

"I don't know how to feel anymore!" I yelled, turning back to look at him. "I don't know how to get up and walk around knowing that Carter is dead. He's gone, and I should be happy but I'm not! I'm not happy!" I sobbed, feeling everything that I had bottled up flow out of me. "I still can't walk outside without looking over my shoulder, expecting him to be there! I still can't sleep at night because I have nightmares. I still don't feel safe in my own house, in my own fucking skin!" I screamed, falling to the floor as I cried. "It fucking hurts! It hurts it hurts!" Nathan sat down beside me, pulling me into his lap as he hugged me.

"I know penguin, I know." He whispered, rubbing my back.

"Mom!" I yelled as I walked into her apartment, looking around for her. I walked into the kitchen and saw her at the island, a glass in her hand as she stared at something in her hand. "What are you doing?" I asked, sitting on the stool beside her. She turned around to look at me, tears stained her cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me Carter was in town?" She whispered. I looked down at the paper in her hand, realizing that it was the note I got from Carter.

"Mom, I-"

"No excuses Katherine!" She snapped, throwing the note on the counter. "I want the truth, now."

"he left that note for me after seeing me at the auction for prom. I went to prom anyway because I didn't want anyone to find out, I was with my friends the whole time and Carter never showed up. I was fine, nobody was hurt." I lied, grabbing the note and ripping it up. She didn't need to know the whole story.

"Why didn't you tell me, Katherine? I could have done something, I could have-"

"You could have what, mom? Got drunk until eventually you wouldn't remember so you wouldn't have to do anything?" I grabbed the glass in her hand and took a sip. Vodka, just as I thought. "I didn't tell you because I can handle myself. I've been doing it for years now." I snapped before pouring the drink out. "You're the one that needs handling." I shook my head before walking out the door, and to my loft.

I didn't really want to be alone right now, so I called Amber to come over and stay the night. She got here within an hour.

"What's going on with you?" She asked me, sitting beside me on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. "You've been acting weird, and don't tell me you haven't. You're my best friend, I know something's up." She said, looking at me with concern etched on her face. I sighed and grabbed a handful of popcorn, stuffing my mouth full.

"I don't wanna talk about it." I mumbled, grabbing the remote and pressing play on the movie. She grabbed it to, and paused it again.

"Okay well then tell me about Nathan." She wiggled her eyebrows, "You ditched spring break so he left too. Which means he really only went because you were there. What's that about?"

"Nothing." I rolled my eyes at her, "we're just friends. I just got out of a relationship, remember." I shuddered in disgust at the mention of Joseph.

"Oh please, go lie to someone that doesn't know the both of you" she scoffed.

"Okay, okay," I bit my lip, a blush creeping on my face. "There might have been a little moment a few times.." I trailed off "but it was nothing serious! We both know Nathan, he can't be serious about anything. He's a player and that's all he'll ever be. Hes not stable enough for a relationship." I shrugged. There might have been a time, a very short time, that I thought about Nathan in that way. But it can't happen, he's not the relationship type. He has a new girl every week. Even if I did like him, I'd  just get hurt.

"Wow." A voice said, and we both looked behind us to see Nathan standing there, arms crossed. Hurt flashed through his eyes, but just as it came it was gone.

"Were you there the whole time?" Amber asked, shocked. He nodded his head and rolled his eyes at me. "Well I'm going to go to the bathroom..." Amber walked off awkwardly, leaving me with Nathan. I sighed and stood up, grabbing the now empty bowl and walking to the kitchen.

"What are you doing here, Nathan?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"I came to see if you were okay, but clearly I'm the one that's not." He rolled his eyes and went to turn around but I stopped him.

"I didn't mean it like that, Okay? I just meant that you're a player." I defended myself. I thought he knew that's how everyone sees him. He was about to say something when there was a loud knock at the door. I flinched and dropped the bowl, it shattering everywhere. Nathan quickly walked over to me, picking me up so I wouldn't cut my feet. There was another knock, this one louder than the last.

"Nathan.." I whispered, grabbing onto his arm. I heard the water start in the bathroom, meaning Amber was taking a shower.

"Its fine, I'll answer it." Nathan muttered, walking to the door and opening it.

"Is Katherine Walker here?" A voice said. Nathan glanced at me skeptically before looking back at the person and nodding. "We need to speak with her about an open investigation involving a murder."