N: So... I got a job offer while you were in Cyprus - I said, finally having the courage to have the talk.
We were in our apartment, sitting on the bar stools in the kitchen having a delicious lunch that he prepared for us. It was a rainy Sunday outside so we have decided to stay in before we are supposed to meet his professor and his wife for dinner. He has been an instrumental part of Williams progress in law-school and William wants to ask him if he wants to be his mentor this year while he writes his thesis.
We have spent time with them before and they are great people, both lawyers, married for thirty-something years, no children since they are (and apparently have always been) obsessed with their work, really interesting, lived and traveled all over the world so they had the best stories and humor.
W: Really? Where?
N: Ehm... this artist Manuela Louisa, heard of her?
He nodded no
N: Well she needs an assistant and Tom recommended me.
W: That's great baby! - he took his wine glass and waited for me to raise mine so we could toast. I smiled as we toasted and he leaned in to kiss me.
W: You be cute.
I smiled.
N: So... - I had to continue or I would lose my courage, getting lost in him and our lovey-dovey momentum - We have only spoken on the phone but, she seems really cool... and I love her painting style and her whole take on the arts.
W: That's amazing. You'll have time for both that and school?
N: Yeah... about that...
W: I mean don't get me wrong. If it's an amazing opportunity why not take a leave year and do that and then just continue on your bachelors next year.
N: Yeah... - I was staling - I... it's in Madrid.
W: What?
N: The job is in Madrid. Manuela works at the Museo Sorolla... in Madrid.
He was staring at me passively before returning to his food.
After waiting a couple minutes for him to process the information. I knew better than to push on, but I hated the silence.
N: What do you think?
W: What do you think?
N: I think its the greatest opportunity I'll ever get. And I really want to go.
W: Well then it doesnt matter what I think - he stood up and threw the rest of his food in the garbage and put the plate in the dishwasher.
N: Don't be like that.
W: Like what? - He turned to look at me
N: Like a grumpy victim. I have been offered a job, a job I really want, and I am talking to my boyfriend about it so we can together find how we can make it work. - I said calmly.
He breathed heavily as he stood in the kitchen, looking at me. His back leaning on a counter with hands resting on it behind his back. He was looking at me, our walls down again.
W: Honestly. I don't think our relationship can stand another distance.
N: But you can come too
W: No, I cant. You know I am bound to the University this year while doing my thesis. It's my most important academic year. I have no chance of leaving anywhere now.
N: But with that, you are saying that your dreams and plans are more important than mine and I should stay here for you to realize them. So I have to sacrifice my thing for yours?
W: Relationships are sacrifices sometimes
N: So sacrifice for me then
W: I did sacrifice for you. Remember? I came back from London for you and stayed here... for you.
N: I mean now.
W: I think it's your turn now Noora. Besides my thing is settled. I knew three years ago this year was gonna come and that it's going to be tough. You didn't even know what you wanted to do a year ago and who knows maybe you will change your mind about art too.
I got a little angry that he said it like that so I shot back, fire with fire.
N: I don't think I will.
W: Well... Sounds to me like you have already made up your mind how this is gonna work.
N: William?
W: I'm gonna go
N: Where are you going? - I said hopelessly.
I was confused. Even though walking out when things got tough was his new thing. It was his version of take a step back, breath with your stomach and count to ten.
W: I need air. - He kissed my forehead as he passed me on his way out.
He has definitely calmed down as supposed to before when he was impulsive and had a temper that you never knew when or how high of a fever pitch it was gonna reach. He has become calmer over the years and with me, which has been a learning process. For the both of us. We had to learn to communicate with each other instead of holding things in or acting out.
When it comes to the job offer and moving to Madrid. I understand him. This is what he has been working for all along and he cant just pause it all to leave to Madrid with me. But at the same time, I want understanding and support from him as well. That this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me and a real chance to do something in the art world. In Norway the chances are slim, but with international experience and coaching and references, I could really do it. I could make a living by doing what I truly love and are passionate about and that is to paint and draw. My dream is becoming a reality. How could he not see that?
