N: Oh hey – I was taken back as I was coming out of the bathroom - trying to scare me?
We were on the rooftop celebrating the opening of FitLit at our hotel. There were about 70 guests there, live music, great food from the hotel kitchen and drinks made by order. It was a nice setting, a chill beautiful late summer night in vibrant London.
W: - smiling – Noo.. just trying to get a little privacy
N: A little privacy? I don't think this is the place for having privacy.
W: I thought you would say that
N: Yea well that's because it isn't. – we smile at each other
W: You've been kind of distant tonight.
N: I distant? Have you seen me tonight? – laughed sarcastically - I have been the complete opposite of distant. I have mingled and talked and entertained I think everyone at some point tonight.
W: Ok. You have been distant towards me.
N: William – I felt sad for him - you know why that is
He smiled reassuringly.
W: So who is the guy?
Oh I was dreading this. And it was also mostly the reason why I was avoiding him. I could bs almost anyone in my life, but never him. He could always see right through.
N: Charles.
His whole figure froze, his eyes went blank and his mouth in a straight line in a matter of seconds.
W: Charles is here? You came here with Charles? You brought him here?
I took a long breath.
N: William. I have told you before. I don't want to hear it. I know what I am doing.
W: So you are just going back to him? Like nothing ever happened? You can just forgive and forget all the shit he put you through... just like that?
D: Hey Will. Kristian is looking for you. Time for your speech.
W: I'll be right there Daniel. Thanks.
He turned back to me. His breathing had slowed down. I looked up and met his gaze. Tears welling up in my eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but I was defeated I had no words. He turned on his heel and went back out.
I stood there wiping my eyes before the tears could hit my cheeks, taking long breaths in and out. Trying to compose me before going back out as well.
He and Kristian were up on the small stage set up for the evening, talking about the project and thanking everyone involved, A special and envolved thanks was given to Simon, Krish, Taylor, Daniel, Elenore and
"And lastly... of course... none of you would be here or this - pointing to the surroundings - would be possible without the kickass effort that a certain lady put in. Noora Sætre. You really are in your element girl. Never change your job." Kristian said to laughs, whistles and some claps from the audience.
I smiled shyly, appreciating it. My puffy, tear-filled eyes now being justified.
William continued "You treated this project as if it was your own from day one. And on some days we have to admit it was. - looked at Kristian who was nodding and they both smiled, looking at me - Your dedication and passion and compassion is hugely contagious. We are so lucky and so happy to have you on our team. And we can't wait for future collaborations."
"On a personal note. I am very glad we are a part of each other's lives again. You are a true inspiration Noora. On all levels."
I was shocked, stunned and surprised at the same time. Not knowing what to do I just laughed nervously, a tear made a way down my cheek. Wow. That was unexpected. He was passively staring at me over the crowd with a slight smirk after seeing my reaction. Did he just do that? With everyone in the room?
Later when I was by the buffet table, Madeline came to grab some food too.
M: That was one hell of a speech you got.
N: Yeah. They were truly exhilarating. FitLit is great because they have done their job well.
M: I wasn't talking about that part of the speech.
N: - looked surprised at her - Oh.
She smiled knowingly at me, raised her eyebrows waiting for me to say something.
N: That's just... that...
M: If that isn't a profession of love I don't know what is
N: I...
M: Noora - she cut me off - Just let it sink in - and she left back to her table.
Was she right? Oh, she was definitly right. But its such a slippery slope revisiting that with William. I really can't imagine anything scarier at the moment. It took my heart almost two years to recover the last time. Imagine what it will do to it now. But then again how will I be able to go on with my life knowing I could have kissed those lips, that I have been dreaming of for so long, again and I said no because I was afraid. Because I was afraid of being hurt again. But isn't that what life is about. Taking chances and jumping into things and sometimes get hurt and your heart broken but, then get yourself together and up and taking chances again and again and again. Or I could just...
W: Hey - he came from behind me and poked his head by my shoulder
I turned around a little, surprised
N: Hey
W: You want to dance?
To be or not to be...
I put my hand in his and let him lead me to the dancefloor where we danced to "Another Love" by Tom Odell. How fitting I thought. But my tears have been used on the same love.
N: Thank you for your kind words - said as we were dancing
W: You welcome
Another soft look was exchanged before we went back to our "places" me resting my head on his chest and he resting his chin on the top of my head. I had drifted into his touch and familiar scent when he suddenly said.
W: You know I will stop this one day.
N: What?
W: The chasing you
My heart skipped a beat. I swallowed a big giant lump in my throat and said sadly.
N: I know.
We continued to dance without once looking at each other.
Oh, need a love, now, my heart is thinking ofI wanna sing a song, that'd be just oursBut I sang 'em all to another heartAnd I wanna cry, I wanna fall in loveBut all my tears have been used upOn another love, another loveAll my tears have been used upOn another love, another love
