W: I should have protected you
N: That's not your task William. We weren't even together then.
W: I know. But somehow I should have protected you.
N: Oh William. You can't protect me from all the evil in this world
W: That doesn't mean that I don't want to.
I looked at him and smiled heartily. It warmed my heart to hear those words coming from him. This whole situation and everything between us that has been and is now warmed my heart. We were sitting outside on his terrace and I had just told him the full story on Charles and me. He had been sitting quietly and listening carefully to my every word, studying my face closely.
I got up and walked over to where he was sitting and kissed him.
W: - surprised - What's that for?
N: For keeping my heart always warm - I said as I was still standing above him, our faces inches away.
We smiled at each other. An unspoken vow was exchanged in our look. We were thinking the same, we wanted the same but, we were both afraid to ask for it and to have it. But in the end, it was ok. We had each other. We could lean on each other.
He leaned in and kissed me. I quickly returned his passion and lust. It led us to his bedroom. He kept asking "Are you ok?" "Is this ok?" "Are you sure?" until I said him if he asks me one more time instead of kisses me I neither will be ok or sure and walk out the door... "so shut it and kiss me, Magnusson!". He obeyed smiling.
In the early morning hours... in each other arms in his bed...
W: So the chasing paid off in the end - he suddenly spoke up, smiling, teasing
N: I am not ready to be in a relationship with you - I said quickly. Honestly
W: Okay. - confused
N: I cant. Its different with you. Everything is different with you. Everything is much more with you. And I am not ready for that. My hearts not ready for you. For the overbearing flow of emotions and feelings and everything. Because with you, everything is... everything. At once. And I can't go there again.
W: So you don't want to be with me because its the love that sets you in motion the most? - he was visibly struggling with this.
Was I being reasonable? Yes. I was. I can't do that again with him, go through all that, the love, the emotions and then the hurt at the end. I can't deal with that. I will not survive it.
N: I am sorry
W: No. I am the one whos sorry.
N: What are you sorry for?
W: For scaring you so much the last time that you're too afraid to jump into it with me again.
N: Its just the stakes are too high. I can't go there again. I can't allow myself that.
W: So that's that? I'm just a one night stand? - he said, visibly hurt.
N: Nooo... its not...
He lifted his eyebrows waiting for my answer, but the truth is I had none.
N: Knock knock - I said, peeping in his office where the door was opened, on Monday.
W: Hey - he looked up from his PC
N: Do you have a minute?
W: Yeah sure. Come on in
W: What's up? - he said as I sat down on one of the stools he has for visitors, across him
N: I have been thinking... How would you feel about a no strings attached thing?
W: A what? - shocked
I surprised myself as much. MAybe even more. Noora Amalie Sætre. WTH are you thinking? Where are all those morals and standards?! But I didn't know what else to do. I want to be with him, but I don't want to be with him! So if I could get him any way I could without being in a relationship with him I choose that. Its at least something. And I keep my heart well hidden and protected.
N: Between us.
W: I... Hold on a sec - he was surprised but with a smirk on his face. He got up and closed the door to his office.
W: What are you exactly saying?
N: That if you are open to it, I would like to try a non-like-relationship with you, no strings attached.
W: So just sex?
N: And dinners, drinks ...even movies but, no feelings. At the first sight of a feeling from either of us we stop.
W: Are you sure about this?
N: Yes. I like being with you and spending time with you, but... I don't like the possibility of being hurt by you. Again.
W: - he got serious - Okay. If you are sure that's what you want Noora.
N: I am.
W: Okay. Then I say yes.
(William - This is not gonna work he was sure of it. Noora is not that girl. She loves feelings and emotions and love and romance and what she is purposing now is opposite of that. But I have nothing to lose I know where I stand, what I feel and what I want. Its gonna be worse for her. I feel sorry for her at the same time I am happy because maybe this is the only way she will finally open her eyes and see that we should be together, that we are meant to be. :) )
