Seven months ago I accepted the job at Museu Sorolla and moved to Madrid.
William wasn't happy when I made the decision and left. I think he was resenting me for accepting the job even though I knew how he felt about it. I ignored that as much as I could. This was only for a year.
We managed to sustain a somewhat normal long distance relationship. I traveled home a weekend. He came to visit a few weekends. It could have probably been more weekends but, sometimes our outside school/work activities prevented us from leaving as well. It should have been clear to us then because a year ago any of us would jump on a plane to be together even if it only meant being together for a couple of hours.
I flew home for three weeks for Christmas. We spent an amazing week in Vietnam, up till he proposed and I said no. It just didn't seem like he was doing it for the right reason. I felt it was more of an attempt to make me stay in one place with him rather than having me run around the world. I love him, with everything that I am. And I want to be with him. But a marriage just doesn't feel right at the moment.
..............
N: I just don't think its the right time. I love you. And I would love to be married to you, one day. But that is not today. We have so much more to see and experience and do.
W: And being married to me will prevent you from that?
N: Well yes. Don't you think it will?
W: No.
N: Well I do. And that's why I am saying no now. It has nothing to do with my love for you.
...............
We went back to our lives after the holiday, me to mine in Madrid and he to his in Oslo. Things never really got back to normal after my turning down of the proposal.
I was thinking we will get back to it once I am back in Oslo in four months. We will sort everything out and just pick up where we left off.
We are in March now and we haven't talked for a week. The initiative to talk has been mostly on me through phone calls ever since the holidays.
I have refused to call this week because I am getting sick of it. I feel like I am reaching out all the time and he isn't.
Now finding out he didn't even call me to tell me about one of the most important things in his life hurt. Ever since we entered each other's lives we have been each other's most important confidant. And I don't have that title in his life anymore and that hurt.
An hour after I hung up a text from him pings in on my phone
W: Call whenever. I have sent everyone home. :)
