"Favorite food?"
He sips his scotch on the rocks, thinking.
"The Lasagna you made yesterday"
I swat his shoulder, giggling
"Lindsey! That doesn't count"
"Alright," he chuckles
"Plain hamburgers; just bread and meat"
I look at him with a blank expression
"Seriously?"
"No judging!"
He taps his chin in thought
"What's the first thing that attracted you to Italy?"
Good question.
" my first night here, I was walking around- just observing. I just felt something. It was new and exciting but it also felt like a home. Like I belong here. The love was in the air, it felt so thick you could grab it. You just had to let yourself fall"
He rests his chin in his hand a big smirk on his face with his eyes glazed over more than likely from the booze
"What?" I giggle
"You have a way with words,"
"Your turn" he continues
"What's your biggest fear?"
He gulps back the rest of his drink then looks down
"Having to say goodbye to you when you go back home tomorrow" he meets my eyes
"Linds..."
"I know, I know. You have Ray and theres all these rules"
He gestures his hands in the air.
I nod slowly and solemnly
"He doesn't deserve you"
I take a long drink out of the straw from my vodka drenched lemonade.
"I don't walk on water Linds, what makes you think that?"
"Stevie, You're the kindest most selfless, gorgeous woman I've ever known, him? He's good looking I'll give him that and he's smart- book wise, but he's trash to you. You deserve to receive the love you give and he's not doing that"
I brush my fingers through my hair looking everywhere but at him.
"Lindsey.. we can't- you can't say these things"
"Why? Because of these "rules"
He uses his finger for air quotes slamming his hands on the table and I flinch. He quiets down when a few people look our way.
"I say it how it is. Husband or not. Affair or not. You deserve more."
A hot single tear falls from the corner of my eye and I'm quick to wipe it away.
"I don't,"
He cranks his head to the side so my eyes meet his
"You don't what?deserve more than what he's giving you?"
I hesitantly shake my head.
"Steph how could you think that?"
"I'm not who you make me out to be Lindsey,"
"Then tell me who you are, I want to know."
"I'm flawed and half the time I don't even know who I am or why anyone even likes me"
His jaw drops slightly and I feel like I just opened a can of worms that I should have kept sealed.
"We're all flawed, but you know that. I don't know what he's told you to make you think that you're some waste of space or something because you're not, Stevie. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You're something special and I'm gonna help you see that"
He pulls my hand up to his lips and leaves a trail of kisses on my knuckles.
"I'm ready to go back to the room"
I smile sweetly at him and he puts down a couple of bills on the table.
This is wrong. Very wrong. Except it feels right. Why is he saying all these perfect things? Why isn't my husband saying things like this? I shouldn't be here. Lindsey is like a breath of fresh air but when I return home the water feels like it's too deep, too far over my head. I can't breathe. I'm so lost. Why am I feeling so strong towards him? I'm terrible. I'm disgusting. My parents taught me better. I can't let him go though. At least, not right now. No, I'm in too deep. I'll allow myself that right now, but at the end of the summer, We're done. We have to be.
Sorry for such a short chapter, but I felt Stevie's internal conflict was a good ending point at the moment.
