Lindsey's hand is placed on my thigh while the other hand is on the steering wheel.
The music that fills the car sounds distant as I get lost in my thoughts. I can't believe I chickened out on telling Him about my pregnancy last night. He needs to know. I'm not getting any smaller although you can't really notice any change no matter how paranoid I am. I'm just so afraid I'll lose him. I don't want to depend on a man ever again after Ray but it doesn't mean I want Lindsey to leave. I hope I'm just being dramatic and Lindsey ends up loving this baby.
-
I take a deep breath as the car rolls into the driveway of my old home. I'm here to collect my things and I just want to get my shit and get out as quick as possible.
I walk up the pathway with Lindsey behind me and reach under the doormat for the spare key. I quietly and slowly unlock the door hoping Ray doesn't miraculously pop up. I open the door and see a complete mess. Glass from my lamps thrown about. The couches are gone. Pictures that were once hung upon our wall are now scattered across the floor. My jaw drops at the sight. I check the garage and my personal car is gone. Great. I run up the stairs to see the rest of the damage. Everything in his office is gone. Of course he'd do that. I check the room we shared not long ago and I see holes in the wall, obviously caused by his anger. My clothes thrown all across the room, my vanity shattered. I just want to cry. Im pissed, frustrated and sad. I flinch when Lindsey's hands rest on my shoulders, totally forgetting he was in my presence.
"Let's just get some clothes and anything else you can find"
"There's nothing here!" I seethe
He gets on his knees with me and picks through my clothes taking whatever that isn't ruined. There's not much, but there's enough to get me by. I walk downstairs to the kitchen with Lindsey following closely. There's an eerie feeling here and I can tell it's creeping him out too. I reach for the ice cream bin in the back of the freezer behind all the frozen vegetables.
"How can you eat at a time like this?" Lindsey asks baffled
I give him a pointed look and open the container to show him what's inside. $2,000 to be exact. My mother always told me that I should have extra money hidden just Incase and I'm so happy I listened to her.
"Smart thinking" Lindsey chuckles
I smile even though I'm not even close to being happy. On our way out we be careful not to step on glass and as we're walking through the foyer, something catches my eye. A white printed out paper on the table that usually holds our car keys catches my eyes. I stop and give my things to Lindsey
"Could you take these to the car please?" He looks at me suspiciously
"I'll be there in just a few" I kiss his cheek and he leaves. I pick up the paper and a post it note is attached to it.
Want to fuck around? Go ahead.
Want a divorce? Perfect.
But be prepared to fight for that child Stephanie. You know I've always wanted kids.
See you in court in two weeks.
- R
Floods of tears escape my eyes. That bastard! He never wanted kids! How the hell does he even know?! I look under the post it note and see divorce papers. Why the fuck does he have to make this so hard?
I walk to the car slowly and Lindsey and I make eye contact through the window. I hesitantly open the door and sit down.
" what's wrong?" His eyes are frantic
I put my head in my hands for a second then take a deep breathe
"There's something you need to know"
"Steph what is it? You're freaking me out"
"Im pregnant with your child"
His eyes pop out then he calms himself
"How long have you known?"
"I'm a little under two months" I bite my lip while tears fill my eyes
He looks out the window and finally pulls out of the driveway
"Linds what are you thinking?" I put my hand on his thigh and he tenses up slightly so I pull it back.
"I don't know. I'm... shocked. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Are you sure it's mine and not his?"
My mouth falls slightly agape. I guess I can't be mad at him for asking that.
"I was scared and yes I know it isn't Ray's"
"How?!" He raises his voice and grips the steering wheel tighter.
I shrink in my seat out of habit.
"Because I couldn't bare touching him when I tried calling things off with you. You were all I thought about" I say quietly.
He looks at me then his demeanor softens.
We pull up to Christopher and Lori's home instead of Lindsey's.
" I know everything is happening so soon. Trust me, I'm scared shitless. I don't know if you're happy about this" I sigh "well I assume you're not happy but.. I'm keeping this child Lindsey. I would really love for you to be here for me and them but I understand if it's too much" I grab my clothes in his back seat and open the door stepping out. He rushes out and jogs to my side
Tears are evident on my cheeks and he wipes them away with his thumb
"I love you and I love them" he rests his palm on my belly and I smile but he steps away
"Then why are you running away?" My voice cracks
"I need time" he says quietly and gets back in his car, driving off.
Guys I know I'm terrible at updating, I'm sorry, I hate keeping you waiting
