I groan at the bright light I'm met with as soon as I open my eyes
"Call the nurse, she's awake!"
Lori shouts.
"Steve's how do you feel?"
I'm really not in the mood for a trivia game, my body is totally sore and I feel terribly groggy, I really feel sick.
"Throw up"
"Huh?" Chris and Lori look at me puzzled. I gag and a fluid fills my throat. Lori rushes to grab a trash can and I barf all the contents I've eaten in the last 24 hours which thankfully isn't too much.
"Where's Ray?"
"You don't have to worry about that"
Chris holds his hand over mine.
"Where is he"
Lori looks pointedly at Chris.
"He's in the waiting room" she answers.
"Chris can I talk to Lori? Alone"
He nods his head and makes his way out.
"Stevie what happened?"
"He found out"
She puts her hand over her mouth
"So Where's Lindsey? Please don't tell me he's on the side of the road in a ditch somewhere"
"No,no. He doesn't know I'm here though and I need to talk to him, I'll write his number on a post it note for you, could you call him?"
"Are you sure? Ray is just outside"
"You're right... could you at least update him? Please?"
"Of course"
The nurse knocks then walks in
"Good evening, Stephanie. How are you feeling?"
"Frankly, like shit."
She chuckles in response then walks over to her computer.
"Well besides some soreness you should be just fine. Of course I have no idea how all this happened but it's confidential"
I nod. I'm so thankful for doctor-patient confidentiality. I really would hate for Ray to go to jail. His career is very important.
"Alright well we did an ultrasound when you were first admitted and baby seems to be alright, just in a little bit of distress. We could do another one now, if you'd like though?"
My eyes about bulge out of my head. She must have the wrong patient information I am not pregnant.
"Uh excuse me?"
"Oh... I thought you knew? Um, I'm gonna go grab the doctor"
She smiles nervously and rushes out the room. Lori and I just stare at each other both about to explode.
-
I have a baby. A freaking baby. No wonder I've been throwing up so much. Things have been so hectic lately I didn't even notice I missed a period, they've been irregular ever since I was a teenager so I didn't think much of it. This is just... I can't wrap my mind around it. I'm around four weeks which adds up to the three days I spent with Lindsey. Lori is the only person who knows. I refused to let her tell Lindsey what hospital I stayed at. I wouldn't let him come and get killed by Ray. Speaking of Ray, he's been apologizing profusely to me and even though I'm afraid, I told him it was okay. Which it's not... but what can I do? I did cheat. Like he said, I guess I deserved this... as I sit in bed writing in my journal, Ray comes up to the room with my cup of tea. The last two days he's been a total leach. My tea is hot as lava so I set it back down on the night stand, he lingers around and makes himself comfy on his side of the bed.
"I think it's time for us to go home"
I just stare at him waiting for him to say more but he doesn't.
"Why? We still have four more weeks"
"Stevie we have to let go of Italy. Our relationship is falling apart. You cheated"
"And you hit me. It wasn't the first time either. It's not Italy it's us"
My mind has perfect clarity and never would I have imagined I'm saying these things but I don't want to leave Italy.
"I'll never do it again, I promise! We just have to get out of here. Don't you miss Arizona? Let's go back to how things were"
"I don't miss Arizona Ray. You've completely ruined the place for me. It used to be my home but it's not anymore. You've alienated me from my parents, my old friends, work. It's not home; it's prison and I can't stand being locked up in that house anymore!"
I stand up out of the bed grabbing a fistful of my hair.
"Where the hell is this coming from?! You've always been happy, how has it ever been a prison?"
"I feel like I'm drowning Ray! You're perfectly afloat but I'm sinking. I'm so unhappy, how can you not see that?"
He rubs at his jaw and a vein is popping out of his head. I'm sure he's not gonna go off on me again but in the back of my head I'm on thin ice. I get up and pace the room
"Stevie I'll change. I will, really. We can move out of the house and buy a new one. Please!"
He comes up to me and grabs my hands holding them to his chest with pleading eyes. I sigh very heavily.
"I don't know.."
"What else would you choose? You're my wife, in sickness and in health right?"
Once again I feel trapped. Do I go with what my heart wants or with what's "right"
"Okay..."
He smiles and pulls me into a hug
"Good choice-"
He unwraps his arms from me and grabs his phone
"I can get a private plane for us by 10 tomorrow"
And just like that, he walks out of the room. I'm leaving...
Sorry for taking forever to update!
