Hes No You

Chapter 15

The kiss with Niall was more than words could describe. I know it was wrong but no strings attached right? I mean it was just because he lost our bet. Its not like he'd be interested in a girl like me anyways. I mean isnt he dating the one and only Demi Lovato? I mean thats what everybody is saying.

I pulled back and ran upstairs. I couldnt stay down there anymore. It just didnt feel right to be kissing someone who had a girlfriend. Even if it was just a stupid bet. I ran in my room and locked my door flopping on my bed. I screamed into my pillow and turned up my music. 

Goodbye by Miley Cyrus started playing. The song started and I found myslef singing along.

I could honestly say

You've been on my mind

Since i woke up today (up today)

i look at your photograph

all the time

These memories come back to life

And i dont mind

I remember when we kissed

I still feel it on my lips

The time that you danced with me

With no music playing

i remember those simple things

I remember till i cry

But the one thing i wish i'd forget

A memory i wanna forget

Is goodbye

I woke up this morning

And played our song

And i know my tears sing along

I picked up the phone and then put it down

Cuz i know im wasting my time

And i dont mind

I remember when we kissed

I still feel it on my lips

The time that you danced with me

With no music playing

I remember those simple things

I remember till i cry

But the one thing i wish i'd forget

A memory i wanna forget

Suddenly my cell phone's glowing up

With your ring tone

I hesitate but answer it anyway

You sound so alone

It does it right to hear you say

Remember when we kissed

You still feel it on our lips

The time that you danced with me

With the no music playing

You remember those simple things

We talked till we cryed

You said that your biggest regret

The one thing you wish i'd forget

Is saying goodbye

Saying goodbye

Ohhhh

Goodbye

I heard banging on my door and screamed telling whoever it was to leave me alone.

"Sammy darling its Louis. Please let me in." His voice rang through the door.

I knew I could trust Louis with anything so I slowly got up and opened my door. I ran back to my bed a plopped down again. This time tears falling down my face. I heard the door shut and a pair of hands rubbing my back. I was sobbing now and I knew that Louis would want to know whats up.

"Sam hun. Why are you crying? Why'd you run up here after you kissed Niall?" His voice sounded full of worry.

I hated making people being worried about me. I didnt want to be anybodys charity case, but with Louis I knew it was different. He actually cared about why I was so down. Everybody else just wanted me to get over it and cheer up. They didnt truly care. 

" I dont know Lou. I just started thinking about Austin and how it was kinda wrong for me to kiss Niall. And then Demi popped in my head. I just dont wanna be that girl someone cheats on their girlfriend with. I dont wanna be somebodys second choice. And I certainly dont want somebody to feel bad for me that they have to treat me like their little charity case"

He laughed and I just looked at him bewildered. Wtf?

"Sam I know thats not whats wrong. Something happened in your life that your scared will happen again. I know your pushing everything back into that pretty little head of yours. You want to forget but your body just wont let you."

He was right. All the memories came flowing through my brain. The laughs, kisses, fights, makeup, everything. I started crying again. Nobody knew what happened, not even my bestfriends. I couldnt hold it in any longer so I let my wall down and told Lou what happened.

" A few years ago I dated this guy names Tyler. We were together for 6 months and one day he came over and seemed really out of it. I comfronted him and he told me he loved me and not to worry about it. His mom called and told him to head home so he kissed my cheek and left. 10 minutes after leaving he texted me and broke up with me. I was devistated and locked myself in my room for 3 months. I was depressed and I kept having suicidal thought. Everyday I thought to myself that I didnt deserve to live. I resulted in cutting and it go really bad Lou. I was turning into a person nobody though Id turn into. One day I looked at myself in the mirror. I had lost at least 50 pounds and I had scars all around my body. I was disgusted at what I had turned into. So I packed my bags and moved here to live with Krista. She didnt know what happened and I didnt tell her. I got better over the last few years."

I finished my story and was scared to look at Lou's face. I know he's not judgemental but I was honsetly scared of what he might say. Curiosity got the best of me so I looked up and saw him wipe away some tears.

"Dont cry Lou. I didnt mean to make you cry"

"Hey! Its not your fault. Your story just really touched my heart thats all. But theres just one thing I dont get." He said.

"And that is?"

"Why'd you run away from Niall?"

"Well after what happened with Tyler I knew Id nver find true love again. And then I met Austin and we started dating and after he broke up with me I just died inside. We dated for like 2 days Lou. And after that kiss with Niall I just lost all memory of Austin. All I could taste, feel, hear, and see was Niall. But then I remembered all that stuff about Demi and I just cant get hurt again Lou. I just cant"

"Sam sweetheart. Niall could never hurt a fly. Hes too sweet. Yeah hes with Demi but there only dating for publicity reasons. Its fake love. Whats real love is the way he looks at you. Hes never looked at anybody like the way he looks at you. I think your his princess Sam."

Before I had a chance to say anything there was a knock on the door and Nialls head popped in.

"Sam. Can we talk?" he whispered.