"You feel, better?"
I cough, reluctantly leaning on Baekhyun after. Kai and I can't make eye contact. All I did was get up and put the coffee pot on, but still, I feel like I'll live through this. At least for a while yet. Baekhyun laces his thin fingers with mine, and it brings me back to the first van ride when I'd just gotten off my anxiety pills and couldn't keep things in control. I wonder if he knew.
"Grey, did you hear me?"
I look up at Suho, shaking my head at him.
"Have you ever had to work for something in your life?"
"Grey!"
Baekhyun whispers, tensing up beside me. I need a cigarette, or a strong tonic. Something.
"I spent my entire childhood in a lab being put through ever test in the book. For two weeks I was blinded, put in a silent room, tied to a chair, naked. They wanted to see how long until I hallucinated. Then? Once Seek and the older kids broke out I spent my teen years living with a hacker and an assassin. Seek would make me come with her and watch the security cameras while she went inside and committed murder, every fucking week. She became known in the dark world. We were sitting on a million dollars, cash. Vaden hacked someone she shouldn't and our house got burned down, back to square one. It's always square one."
"That's horrible-"
"I bet you've never eaten garbage. I bet you've never had to screw someone in their car so you could afford medication."
It's quiet. Uncomfortable. These people never had to fight like I did. Never. I cough so hard my palm is covered in blood, lips stained Crimson.
"I've gotten stabbed and left on the side of the road, I'm a dirty American here and a stupid Asian back in America. I've had to scrape and fight for ever single thing in my life, and now that I'm finally at the top I'm dying."
I go wash my hand in the kitchen, the dorm small enough I'm not out of ear shot, silence.
"I've done ever single thing you can think I've done, I've been street filth most of my life, but I have never never lost my dignity. I've held my head high through all of this, and I'm not changing now. Don't act like I'm dying, I've been dying my whole life, you can just tell this time because I'm too weak to hide it."
A wave of dizziness washes over me and I collapse, vision blurring as someone runs over, I'm out cold again. Anger issues, looks like I still haven't gotten that under control.
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*I'm wearing patterned pants with a patterned shirt it's beautiful*
*absolutely horrible beat boxing*
~Ro.
YOU ARE READING
Double Life
FanfictionSM decides to add a new member to the hit group Exo, but how is a girl going to fit in to this Kpop band? Especially a girl with a secret, a girl with wolf blood in her veins. Will Exo accept her as part of their pack?
