Everyone is out of breath, the echoes of yelling at each other every hurtful thing still bounce on the walls of our souls. I head to the couch, picking my way through the glass. I threw a coffee cup at the wall, Sehun chucked his shoes at my face. Finally we stopped, finally enough things were broken to distract from the broken hearts. Slowly everyone sits down, more like collapses, even boys cry. A box of tissues is passed around and I half heartedly chuck it at the wall after, one last item to pick up when we decide to act like fucking adults again.
But there isn't a gap any more, Baekhyun laying on my lap, Sehun to my side. There's a little less pain stuck inside each of us is that it's ringing in our ears.
"I never wanted to be a girl, I went to a trans clinic once, almost did it."
"Why not?"
"That shits expensive"
I say with a laugh, wondering if any of the boys are something like that. Any of my boys back from home.
"But you are, a girl?"
Sehun asks, giving my chest a good hard stare down. I think back to being the manager at BTS, how it felt nice to wear the silver rings and walk around like I was the prettiest girl around. It was nice, but my history didn't write me to be a perfect girl. Silver rings barely fit over my calloused knuckles, my hair now falling out and no longer down my back.
"I think I just want to be left alone for the most part, girl or boy."
Suho scoffs, unsurprised. As a girl I wish I was left alone about my weight or my bony face or what clothes I'm wearing, how my voice sounds; as a guy I want to be left alone about who I date or how long I can fight or which girlfriend I'm with. Boys and girls, I don't care about being either, or which I'm with. I want to be able to work, to earn money, to show up and show off and experience everything I can before I'm too old for it.
"I want to go home."
YOU ARE READING
Double Life
FanfictionSM decides to add a new member to the hit group Exo, but how is a girl going to fit in to this Kpop band? Especially a girl with a secret, a girl with wolf blood in her veins. Will Exo accept her as part of their pack?
