Double Life

Authors Note

I have to extend thanks to many people for support throughout the creation of this work.  If I could remember all the people who read and commented and voted I would list all their names here because every single one matters so much.  There is unbelievable support in both the writing and the Kpop fandom, it's amazing how everyone takes care of each other here.  I'm proud of all of you for that!  I most want to thank ginaWolf_kiwi and King_Mochi because you two have been through this whole damn book!  Thank you! 

I learned so much over the two years of writing this, I learned how to be afraid that my works would be judged by people I know.  I learned to tell people I was a writer, and that I had every write to remain anonymous.  People can and should respect that, and through practice I learned how to say I was a writer, but that what I write is private.  Most of all, I learned to be proud of what I wrote regardless of how it measures up to others. 

When asked about this book I usually summarized it like this:

"I'm writing a book discussing the different cultured between Americans and Asians, as well as exploring the gender gap that exists in both countries.  I've taken a strong willed female and in all aspects, made her play a male role in society.  My goal was to gain a better view of the subtle differences between male and female expectations and expand on an existing field of strong female characters."

In reality, it was never about Grey's gender.  Her gender was not meant to be part of her struggle, even though that's what it ends up being. True, I did enjoy seeing how she would deal with a situation commonly deemed for masculine roles, but this book was more about her relationships with the other characters.  Her character is actually a branch from Seek Evergreen, that wild and brazen side which didn't fit into her silent character but still needed an outlet.  I didn't know if someone without any tact, and questionable motives, could hold up in any role as a main character.  Most of the females in this genre are feminine, beautiful, charming women.  I like to think it throws people off when they're introduced to the rude, boyish, self-centered Grey who 'never needs anyone's damn help with anything.'

Thank you to everyone who put up with stupid authors notes, sporadic updates, poorly written chapters and controversial topics.  Thank you for keeping me in mind and in libraries.  This was my first big success as a young Canadian author and I thank everyone for their support both silent and loud.

~Ren

"Live your life, and write your works, as if no one is ever watching."