The Squad (Shane Dawson)

!pointmade!

^^^Our lovely Kehlani ^^^

As we drive text my mom and tell her I'm living the dream and she replied with fuck you. I love her!

As we pull up to IHOP I hiccup.

"What was that? Asked Shane

"It was a hiccup" I say as I hiccup again.

"It sounds like a mouse hiccup" Garrett aws.

"Its so adorable" Morgan adds.

I hiccup again. I get out of the car with everyone as we wait to get a table in the lobby.

"Hey, Andrew" I whispered  looking at him but he keeps the camera on me.

"What?" He chuckled.

"Red heads be poppin' " I say. He laughs.

"Andrew no flirting with my future child" Shane said as the waitress took is to a table with enough chairs. I sit next to a poppin red head, and the other side of me is a blonde baby. I feel comfortable with a these colors.

"Are you ready to order?" The waitress smiled as she looked at Andrew and fixed her hair a little.

Bitch, looks like a piece of shrimp with a weave.

As I order my drink and food, the woman winks at Andrew and leaves.

"She thirsty for some red head boy" I say crossing my arms.

"Her tan looks like mine, blotchy" Shane says.

"Shane don't be rude" Garrett

A few minutes later our food arrives...with the same waitress. She gives Ryland his food, then Shanes 30 pancakes, Morgan's, my giant plate on hash browns and as she puts Andrews plate down she puts a paper under his plate and softly caresses his arm and leaves.

He picks up the note to read it, then covers his mouth and chuckled a bit. He hands me the note.

"How big is your dick? I want you inside me right now I'm so wet. My number is ***-***-****.Mel" I read aloud.

We all laugh.

"Wait! Andrew should go meet her in the unisex bathroom" Shane gasped.

Andrew laughs and shakes his head. "I'm not interested at all"

"She's coming back in a minute," I say taking out a liquid eyeliner pen.

"What are you doing?" Asked Andrew

"Trust me. give me your arm" he gives me his arm and I cursivly write my name on his forearm. Then right his on my forearm. I interlock my hand with his and put it on the table for her to see. She walks over.

"Is everything going good?"She asked as she writes on her notepad.

"Yes, everything's good" Morgan answers. She nods and as she walks past Andrew she drops another  note on the floor.

He picks up the note and reads it. He hands it to me.

"You don't really love her. I've been a mistress before. She doesn't have to know." I read aloud.

"This is why I'm gay" Ryland says.

"Its time to step it up, Andrew pull your pants down" I look directly at him.

"Um, what?" He laughs nervously.

I start laughing "I'm kidding"

"I really wanted to see that" Shane says.

"Are you okay with kissing though?" I asked.

"I guess" he says. I stand up and pull his chair back a little so I can sit on his lap.

"Okay, both hands around me" he does as he's told. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"She's coming" says Morgan.

"Ready?" I asked, he nods. We started kissing and I hear her footsteps stop.

"Um, excuse me?" She interrupts us. We kiss one last time before looking at her.

"What?" I asked sweetly.

"This is a family place, so I wouldn't do that here" she says with a bit of attitude.

"Your right were sorry, right baby?" I asked him and he nods.

As she walks away she says 'slut' under her breath.

I stand up "um, excuse me? What did you just call me?"

She turns around " I called you a slut"

"Why?"

"Because he's mine. I know he wants me" she winks at him again.

"You can leave now" I said sitting down. She leaves and I start eating.

"Thank you" Andrew says.

"Your welcome" I smiled.

"Legend" Shane commets.

"Do you just kiss people every now and later," asked Garrett.

"Not really" I shrugged.

"Answer this is Andrew a good kisser? And did you like it?"asked Shane.

"Yeah, he's really good and obviously I like it" I give a thumbs up.

as we finished our food, we waited for the check. The same woman came back and placed it in the middle of the table. Before she left she threw a pitcher of water and ice all of me.

"Are you serious?" I tried to say calmly as possible.

"Hm" she walks away as if nothing happened.

Andrew and Morgan tries to dry me off with napkins.

"I think it's time to go" Ryland says leaving a two cent tip. Haha.

We all get up and go to the counter. The man at the counter and sees me dripping wet.

"What happened to you?" He asked.

"I would rather talk to the manager here" I say politely

"I am the manger sweetie"

"Okay, great. The waitress we had dumped a pitcher of water all over me"

"What's her name?" He says writing on a paper.

"Mel. And she kept handing my boyfriend these" I said handing him the papers.

He reads them. I can tell that he's angry.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience. If you would like to come back you can get everything 70% off and I assure you she won't be here"

"Thank you so much" I say. He hands me his card.

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This chapter wasn't as funny but I promise the next one will be.

Thanks babies! 🗻🗻