Kehlani is discovered by Shane Dawson on YouTube and is invited to his house to end up being apart of the whitest group on YouTube after Jake Paul of course.
I hop out of bed and waddle to the bathroom, I close the door and tear my underwear off.
"Uh, Kelahni?" I hear a suspicious voice.
I turn around slowly and see Garrett brushing is teeth ever so gently.
"Um, hi, are you done yet? I have business to attend to!"
Shit! I can't yell at a gay man. I'll get bashed by the media like I wish my vagina wanted last night.
I smile and shove myself in the corner. He is unaware of what is happening.
He rinses his mouth and runs away.
I slam the door behind him and slowly pull out my bloody tamp. Then I noticed the blood on my legs, got Jesus what the fuck!
I start throw a silent temper tantrum and accidentally swing my tampon out the open window.
My eyes widen, then I hear a man scream.
I slam the window shut and started whistling casual as I strip naked and turn the shower on. I stop by the mirror and check myself out.
"Ooh, she got a donk"
My left tit is bigger than my right and I narrowed my eyes at the lord.
Can you do anything right?!
"Fuck you bitch" says the lord.
I gasp. "I know damn well...lemme stop"
I hop in the shower and clean myself from hair to toe hair.
I dried my body and did everything a girl does after a shower right?
My phone dings and it's a text from Tana. I guess she got my number from the yellow pages.
You're show will be at 3:15, hurry babe!
Dude now you tell me! Its 2:59. Well 3:00 now. I quickly finish my hair anf get into my outfit, along with these cute ass heels.
Eek...who the fuck says eek.. Who are you?
No time. Go you dumb whore.
I swear one day...just one day.
I swear if you don't go I'll make you have your period for 8 days.
I gasp.
Thats right bitch, no siwicki cock for you.
You're so damn evil.
(The fit)
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I walk out of the bathroom feeling like new woman and pose like Beyonce.
Shane starts clapping "Yes bitch!"
I grin "Guys I go on in like 10 minutes, lets go" I say jogging to the door but trip and hit my head on the door knob. I stand up right away away and wait for everything to stop moving.
"Lani? Are you okay?" Asked Morgan.
"What a head rush" I turn around and everyone gasped.
My eyes widen "What!?! Can you see my brain? Is it big?"
"No" Andres chuckles and walks up to me "you just have a red mark the size of the handle"
"Whoa" I say. "Carry me"
"Okay" he laughs "front or back"
"I like it both ways" I smirk.
This perverted ass bitch
Literally not even talking to you.
I am you.
I roll my eyes and hop on his back and we go down the hall to the elevator.
I hop down and give Andrew a kiss on the cheek. He blushes so hard he matches his hair...whoa.
I HAVE THE PPOWERRR!
Yeah, I'm that good. Its over for you bitches, I just ended your careers and if you even dream of having a career...beep beep bitch, here I am to knock you off the Road of Destiny.
All the sudden my phone goes off anf says that Tanacon is like in deep shit.
Welp, there goes my career. -_-
The elevator opens and we move to the entrance and see a lot of fans screaming our names.
"Ahhhhh!" I scream back and point to them. I love thoses crazy hoes. ;)
A security officer tells us to turn around and I am offended.
"Yeah, I get it but why can't we get to the show room?" Asked Shane.
"Tanacon has reached its maximum capacity we can't let anyone else in the that includes you"
"Ok, what about the people outside, they look burnt" I say.
"We haven't been able to let them in yet"
"What!?!" I say. "They have been out there for more than 3 hours, no, y'all need to get them some water or get everyone out of here"
"Its not my call, ma'am"
"Don't call me ma'am, grandpa"
"Lady I need you to step off"
"You know what" I get closer to him but Andrew grabs my hand and pulls me away. I give the man the finger as I float backwards.
Shane's phone starts ringing and he picks up.
"Tana?" He asked. He looks back at us and looks at the floor. "Ok, I'm sorry"
He hangs up. "Tanacon is cancelled sis"
I feel like I already knew this was going to happen, god wrote it in the bible, he said and I quote..
Do not let Tana Mango create Tanacon with that weiner Michael weist, especially with no planning at all...or water...or even more room for people.
I told you, I copied and pasted it from the an online bible, its in that in the one thats like exorcist, or exercise, or exodus....
Its exorcist! Like 1,5 or something. /\ #×÷ ￦¥ ¿¡
Well thats all folks.
I wish you the best and I will be back in 4 to 5 business days.
Im hungry and tired...I literally died two days ago and decided to finish this chapter today.
Although I feel like I should apologize to all the clumsy Gucci hoes I've left in the dark for so many months...I told you I died.
...
Okay so I don't have an excuse, but will it make things betterly if I said I love you?
