The Squad (Shane Dawson)

!Gaydar!

"AHHH!" I scream holding my hand.

"What Happened now?" Asked Garrett as he came into the kitchen.

"I cut my hand" I started to tear up, no don't cry. You are not a punk ass bitch like Jake Paul.

I stare at the cut hoping it would close in the next second....damn!

"Shane!" Called Garrett.

"What?" He asked as I hear him come from the bathroom.

"Do you have any Band-Aids left?"

"Um, no, Morgan took them, why?"

"Kehlani cut her pinky off" he laughs.

"That's not funny" shane snorts.

"I know, sorry"

"We'll pick up something on the way to the office"

"Hey, have you seen the office? Its a great show" I smiled.

"Your literally bleeding to death and that's what you have to say?" Shane snorts.

"What else am I supposed to say?"

"Fair point" shane grabs his keys "let's go!"

"Okay, Morgan and Andrew setting up in the office and by setting up I mean Andrew, Morgan is getting chipotle"

"Aggh!" I groan.

"What now?" Asked Garrett.

"My vagina hurts"

"Um , why?" Asked Shane.

"It happens to women, just some mild to sharp pains in there lady bits"

"Interesting" shane picks at his chin.

(who else has these cramps? I literally had them while writing this, sorry TM I)

"All right then" says Garrett

We took that as a que to get in Shane's shitty jeep.

"I just realized That I've never seen your office" I say picking at the wound I just made 5 minutes ago..dumb bitch.

"Yeah..." Shane says.

"That's it?"

"I honestly don't know what to say" get chuckled.

Shane slams on brakes and I hit my face on the middle console.

"Ow! What the fuck!?" I hold my nose.

"Sorry, that's why you should wear a seatbelt," he apologized.

Damn.

We arrive at dollar general.

"alright" shane waits impatient

"I don't have any money on me" I say.

"Okay, I'll go" Garrett says closing the door.

There was an awkward silence.

"So, Vaginas.." He starts.

"Shane shut up"

Garrett comes back "I got you a few bandages anddd, some tampons"

"Seriously?" I say looking at the box of tampons, bitch wtf wtf?

"Garrett, I'm not sure if you noticed but these tampons are for women with a heavier flow, they are fucking huge!"

"I don't know how you're lady parts work" he giggles.

"Well you should" I say in a country accent.

As We drive to the office I wrap up my hand.

You know if I stick my arm up...never mind.

Wait.

No.

Stop.

We arrive at Shane's shitty office...wait a minute its not shitty...its as big as my dick.

If I had one of course.

I hop out of the back and land on my hands while my foot got caught in the seat belt.

"Oh my god" shane laughs.

Garrett chuckled loudly.

"Do you think this would be a good sex position?" I asked trying to keep my balance.

"Honestly yes" Shane says

"Okay but seriously the blood is rushing to my face, help me!" I wheeze.

Shane pulls my body forward as Garrett gets my leg free.

NOW IM FREE! FREE FALLIN'!

It was the perfect opportunity to sing that.

We got all the way up to his office, and I thought it would be something decent but it could use some unicorns.

I hop on Andrews back "Boo!"

"You're not scary, your too cute" he says and I dropped from his back.

"Ha! You wish you gorgeous specimen" I smiled sweetly.

"What happened to you're hand?"

"I cut it, no big deal" he sits me on the counter.

"I don't like to be man handled" I pout.

"Too bad" he gives me a kiss.

"Wow" I gushes. If you see an emoji with heart eyes its my face.😍

"Well you did a horrible job wrapping it" he giggled.

"Well I'm not a doctor" was the best thing I could come up with...

I rather had said "I was trying to keep it loose like my clothes when I'm around you"

"You said that outloud" he smiled.

"damn" I blush wildly

He wraps my hand the right way and kisses ny hand. I kiss him for a few seconds before I was hit in the side with an object.

"Who dares interrupts my pleasure session?" I look down and see a chipotle burrito.

Morgan.

She shrugs at me and runs the other way.

I may be hörny at the moment but oh well. I opened the burrito and put some of the insides on my boobies.

"What are you doing?" Get chuckled.

"Eat"

"Okay" he says laughing.

Oh wow this is a huge turn on, chipotle and Andrew and what makes me weak and gives me a certain amount of pleasure.

I mean c'mon chipotle those burritos are lit AF.

He finally finished the food on my chest.

"Wow, I just came" says Shane

"Same!" I smile and jump off the counter.

"Its time to start, Garrett take Kehlani somewhere where she can't get murdered or perhaps accidentally killed herself with a spoon" shane says.

"Hey!" I put my hands on my hips.

"Righhttt" Garrett picks me up and puts me over his shoulder.

"Wow who knew you had muscles?" I feel his arm.

He chuckled.

He drops in front of the passenger door and opens it " Ma Lady"

I gasp " a gentleman" I step inside and wait for him to come to the other door.

"Where to wiseman?" I asked.

He breathes in and out dramaticly "Target"