the progress project [3]

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aidan

he's internally freaking out.

everett just stares at him for even longer, until his voice comes out croaky. "i can't take this."

the anxiety that has seized aidan's chest all night has exploded, a panic attack taking his breath away. he never should have left to italy he never should have went to college everett is the only one he has left and everett hates his gift and everett doesn't love him and why can't he think why can't everything—

"hey," everett says, clutching his face. "look at me. look at me."

his gasps are ragged, and he's been expecting this all night, but it has hit him harder than he originally thought.

the blonde boy brings him back in an attempt to get him to focus. "you're here, okay? you're here with me. in through your nose. aidan, in through your nose... and out through your mouth. again— in..."

everything is going wrong and he isn't in control of his life he doesn't have a plan he doesn't know what to do he doesn't know what to do he—

"aidan." everett pushes the stray hairs off of the brunette's sweaty forehead. "it's okay, i'll keep you safe. remember when you had a panic attack in the practice room? it ended. this one will, too. remember when we went to that diner? we had milkshakes and burgers and we were happy. tell me you remember."

aidan takes a deep breath, pushing words out of his mouth. "i... remember."

"and remember when we went grocery shopping together? that was so much fun, right?"

his breaths are slowing, calming down, and aidan slumps against the coffee table. he hasn't taken his chlordiazepoxide for anxiety in two weeks, which probably explains why he's been totally paranoid and antsy. "yeah, we did."

everett's hands slip out of his. when did he even start holding them? "are you feeling better? did it pass?"

"yeah. why... why won't you accept the present?"

"i... it must have costed a fortune."

"i don't care."

"aidan."

"please."

everett closes the lid and returns to the boy in front of him. "it's nearly one a.m. why don't you get some rest?"

aidan lies on his twin bed without argument. he pulls his shirt off over his head, wet from the perspiration of his panic attack. his voice drops. "don't go."

everett's thumb runs along his cheek, a small smile on his face at the familiarity of these words before. "i'm not going anywhere."