the progress project [3]

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fiona

she sits in dr. martin's room this time for an entirely different reason.

"ready?"

no, fiona thinks, but nods anyway.

this virtual reality stuff (which she barely understands) is going to recreate her past, test her on whether or not she handles it well. the second the headgear is placed on her head, she releases a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

charlie puth's we don't talk anymore reverberates from her phone in the dead silent dorm room, and fiona fumbles around with her sheets to find her cell. who could possibly be calling this late? it's nearly 3 a.m. she successfully manages to answer it without waking her roommate, stepping into the hallway. she pinches the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes. "hello?"

all she can hear is her mother's laugh... or is it a cry? through the speaker. "mom?"

"it's— it's your sister, fiona. she's gone. s-she ran away last night. we can't find her. she doesn't have her cell phone on her, and she left with a bag and wallet, but we have no way to track her. i don't know what—"

"mom," fiona says, trying to stay levelheaded, trying to find out why her sister would leave. "what did she say before she left? what happened?"

she can hear her mother cry harder before her father takes the phone, sounding exhausted. "she said she was bisexual."

the young woman's blood runs cold.

"and she can't be, okay? we're catholic, it's a phase, fi. it's gotta be. she knows that it's not right."

"dad, what the hell?" fiona spits, furious and ready to break down and cry at the same time. "she's still your daughter. don't you care about where she is?"

"of course i do. i... it's just, so... unexpected. did you know?"

she pauses. "yeah. did you?"

"a little. but i thought she would get through it..."

fiona hangs up and sinks to the floor. she should've been home to help her younger sibling. none of this would've happened if she hadn't told her sister to wait. none of this would have happened—

it isn't my fault, fiona thinks, shaking her head at the memory. there could have been ways to make it easier, or to prevent the heartbreak before it happened.

"she's at your aunt's," her father had told her a month later. "she's starting over. i'm sorry."

fiona didn't know her aunt's name. or where she lived. she couldn't do anything. the voice changes.

"i'm sorry," tristan says, letting out a snort at the way fiona slams against the ice. she has terrible balance when it comes to skating.

he reaches out and pulls her up, and she hits him upside the head. "that wasn't funny, asshole."

he pouts, popping his lower lip out for the puppy look. "forgive me?"

"maybe."

"i haven't been honest with you, fi," he says, a chuckle breaking through his serious exterior. "it isn't hilarious when you fall, it's downright adorable."

and the memory changes.

"i haven't been honest with you, fi— marriage is about honesty, yeah?" tristan asks, playing with his watch to avoid eye contact.

her blood boils. of course he would do this in a public place so she can't lose her cool. "what did you do?"

"i..."

"what did you do, tristan?"

he sighs, looking pained. "you were always out with your clients, and when you would come home, you were too tired to really speak to me... and i ended up complaining to my coworker, kailey... and we were both lonely one night..."

she shouldn't have to give up her career just because her boyfriend is lonely. she worked hard for her bachelor's degree, and worked hard to be successful. tristan cheating on her wasn't her fault.

"so where's aidan? something happen between you two?"

"no!" everett responds too quickly. "i mean... it's complicated."

she dumps all of the fruit into the blender, glancing up at him before pressing the button. "you're still in love with him, aren't you?"

"i don't know what i feel."

"i know that you aren't in love with me," she says simply. "i know you loved the idea that i kept you safe."

everett knew it. they both did. she couldn't help it that he wasn't in love with her. they were still friends, and still loved each other as brother and sister...

"fiona?"

the voice is a whisper, and the pain is so terrible that she sees stars, so she closes her eyes until it fades. she can't remember what happened... was she driving?

she looks over to the passenger side, and... the tree is smashed against it, and...

elijah.

no, no, no, elijah, elijah, elijah.

his entire right side is crushed against the door, and his hand is extended out to hers, but not touching. he was so close. he had tried to get her attention.

he almost made it...

she could have done something...

she couldn't. there was nothing she could have done. it was an accident. he forgave her. he forgave her. he forgave her...

a claddagh ring; two hands holding a heart.

"it's irish. it symbolizes love, loyalty, and friendship. it isn't romantically, uh, meant from me. think of it as a gift from elijah..." christian says softly, uncomfortable with her silence.

stop psychoanalyzing me, she wants to say. instead, a "thank you" falls out of her mouth as she chokes back tears.

his hands are shoved into his pockets, his face that was once an open book, now returning back to its normal emotionlessness. the words he uses next, however, are flooded with kindness and something foreign. "i know that you want him to be here, and i'm sorry that he isn't. you deserve to be happy with him, and i wish i could somehow let you know that it's okay. elijah... he forgives you. he will always forgive you, because he loves you, even if he isn't alive to tell you that. and it doesn't matter how long it takes, but mourning him, not letting him go... it won't bring him back. so i just... i got you this to let you know that it's okay to move on..."

it's time to move forward.