uoıʇıɹɐdsıᗡ

Qᴜᴀᴛᴛᴏʀᴅɪᴄɪ - ᴘᴀꜱᴛ

Valentinia:

Past (3 years ago)

At some point, I must have passed out, due to the amount of blood that I had lost. Fluttering my eyes open, I observed the room that I was occupying. I noticed that I was back in the room I was assigned to when I had first arrived here. I found myself to be laying on my stomach on the bed.

He must have brought me here. I thought, bitterly.

I attempted to get up, but I immediately fell back down onto the comfortable bed. The pain was radiating, unbearably throughout my back. Once again, I begin to lift myself from the bed, this time managing to get myself into an upright position.

I noticed that I was only in my underwear and a pair of shorts. Whoever had redressed me thought that it would be the best decision not to put a shirt on me. I was thankful for that, it would probably be more irritable if something was against it.

Standing up, I walk directly into the bathroom, craving a hot shower, to cleanse everything off of me that took place the previous day. However, I paused my steps as I caught the reflection of my back in the mirror. It was a gruesome sight. Making me want to look away.

They were welts indented all over my back, way more than eighty. All of them were neat and precise marks. All ranging in intensity and diameter. It looked like a wolf had just attacked and mauled half of the skin off of my back. It was abnormal-looking.

It would leave scars. I thought, sadly.

Knowing this, I will be prohibited to wear spaghetti straps, pretty tops and dresses. Or bikinis and swimsuits in general. Not without people gawking at me, either with disgust or sympathy. Both looks in which I don't desire. But now it will be inevitable, I'll never be able to be a model or have clear, purified skin. I'll always have these with me, reminding me of what he did to me. They are ugly, some would say monstrous even.

Deciding to not torture myself any more than he already has done himself, I turned away from my reflection and switched on the shower. Immediately steam began to flood the room, making the mirror fog up, preventing me from seeing my damaged self.

"Stop pitying yourself! You are stronger than that. Don't let him change the independent woman that you are! Don't allow him to have that control over you! Don't let him win! Show him that the marks he punished you with, just show how strong and determined you are.

That you will wear them as a blessing, as a battle wound. Showing him that you survived his wrath and that you are not going to back down. Show him that no matter how much physical, emotional or verbal abuse that he sends your way, will never break you or make you weak!" I told myself, quietly. Trying to convince me that this is not going to ruin me.

Absorbing my advice, I step into the heavenly vicinity, flooded with hot steam. The scolding water pelted upon my dirty hair and blistered my wounds. In- turn, causing me to hiss in pain. It was as if acid had been thrown upon my back, making my flesh disintegrate. Almost immediately I grab the body scrubber and begin to loaf my body in soap.

I scrub viciously as my skin, wanting to eliminate any evidence that he had touched me, harmed me. Carefully making sure that I avoid my back, I rinse off the soap. Furthermore, I began to wash my hair, massaging the strawberry scented shampoo into my scalp and applying the conditioner to the ends of my locks.

After that cleansing shower, I wrap a towel around my body and begin to dry myself off of any water droplets and pat my back dry cautiously. I throw on the clean underwear, black jeans and a dark grey t-shirt that I grabbed earlier before I entered the bathroom. Deciding that I am not going to wear the bra as it causes too much discomfort, I unclasp the back of it under my t-shirt and swiftly pull it off. That's better. I thought.

The shirt didn't irritate me, as it was loose fitted.

Retreating from the bathroom, I walk to the set of draws and riffle through them until I discovered the ointment that he gave me after my last 'punishment.' Finally finding it, I walk towards the mirror in the room, lift my t-shirt and carefully apply it to my wounds. Instantly, it begins to numb the gashes on my back. Sighing in relief, I let my t-shirt fall back down, covering them.

My stomach made a noise which resembled a roar. I haven't eaten since the morning of yesterday. I thought.

Deciding that I am going to go downstairs and make myself something to eat, I left the room.

When I arrived at the kitchen, I noticed that it was desolate. Nobody was here. For some reason, I was expecting either Mr Morelli or Edna to be here. I was happy that I have finally got the kitchen to myself so that I can cook whatever I want without feeling either guilty or uncomfortable.

Moreover, I decide to make pancakes, so I measure out all of the correct ingredients and start whisking them together. After that, I pour it into the frying pan and begin to flip it. After making five pancakes I surf around the cupboards for strawberries and Nutella. Who doesn't love Nutella? I still don't understand to this very day how people can put syrup or lemon onto their pancakes. It isn't appetising in my book.

For one, the syrup is way too sweet and sickly and lemon is way too bitter for my taste. Finally coming across the Nutella and strawberries, both of them being situated in the fridge. I begin to smother my pancakes in the chocolate heaven and sliced up strawberries.

Whilst in the middle of eating my second pancake, Mr Morelli decides to make himself present. In- turn, ruining my mood. He stands there observing me, as if he wants to say something but is refraining from doing so. So, I decided that I am going to make my voice known, saying quite rudely.

"What do you want?"

What do you expect me to be polite? After what he just did to me. Ha, no. He can cry and plead for all I care.

"Don't speak to me like that." He demanded, expressionless.

"Or what? Are you going to beat me again? Whip me again?" I questioned back, honestly.

"If that's what it takes to put you in your place. Then yes, so be it." He replies, monotonously.

"Are you being serious?" I asked, baffled by his bluntness.

"Deadly." He replied.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I demanded, dropping my cutlery and standing up from the stool that I was seated on.

"Many things Valentinia. Many things. Did you ever check for monsters under your bed, Leonessa?" He questioned.

"Did you?" I asked back.

He chuckled, darkly.

"I stopped looking for monsters under my bed when I discovered that they were inside of me."

"You don't have monsters within you, you are the monster. Don't try and blame it on other things when you decided to be that way. You decided to become the monster that you are today. You chose to let the darkness overtake you, nobody else. You. So, stop trying to push the responsibility and blame onto somebody or something else. Because it is all down to you. You. Mr. fucking Morelli."

"I see you have still not learned your lesson in not fucking talking back to me or disrespecting me. But, don't worry, Leonessa I will fix that very soon. I'll show you just how much power I have over you. And yes, you are right I am the monster, but what makes you think that I chose to be this way? What makes you so sure that somebody else wasn't the reason for what I am today? What makes you think that somebody didn't just throw me into the darkness? So, that I couldn't escape before it consumed me and took over my entire being."

"Tell me then. Tell me what torturing thing happened to you to make you this way? Because if you continue to refrain from telling me what happened to you, I am just going to keep on presuming that you brought this upon yourself because you wanted everyone to fear you and because you wanted to be known as a monster.

If I don't know, I can't try to give you a chance. I can't try to understand why you are like the way you are today. You keep on stating that I am going to be your wife. Well tell me, Mr Morelli, how is this marriage going to be successful if you can't even tell me this? If you can't make me understand any of this."

Translations:.

Leonessa:. Lioness

Word Count:. 1580