uoıʇıɹɐdsıᗡ

ꜱᴇᴅɪᴄɪ - ᴘᴀꜱᴛ

If you want to change who you are, you have to be willing to try and change what you do. ~ Jude Law.

Valentinia:

Past (3 years ago).

After Edna had tended and cared to my wounds the accurate way, instead of just laying me on my stomach in bed. Selfish prick. He dared to 'punish' me and hurt me, then didn't even have the decency to clean and aid to the injuries that HE caused. He doesn't have the courage of his conviction. I thought, disgraced.

I was thankful to Edna, she reminded me of Katy. If you don't remember who she is, she was my maid. Well more like my Grandmother than anything, I didn't think of her or define her as my maid. I wouldn't degrade her to such a title, after everything she has done for me. She also cared for and aided to my wounds, whether they were physical or emotional. She was always there and now, she is not.

But, that's not her fault, it's his. He took me away from her. I wonder if she is looking for me if she misses me or is worrying about me. Well, I hope she is, she's the only one that I have to go back to anyway. It's not like I have my parents. I bet they haven't even realised that I have disappeared all of a sudden. They are too tied up in their 'oh so precious' business and reputations to even care about me.

It's sad really, people are always stereotyping 'rich' individuals for being 'perfect' and having an 'easy' life. Well, let me tell you it isn't, it's just as bad, I would even say in some situations it's worse. Yeah, we have an endless amount of money to buy the newest clothes, cars and essentials, but we don't have the thing we need and crave for the most. Love. A family. Parents who care or know that we exist.

The only time that they show you attention or bother about you is when you are at a business event and they force you to act like the perfect child so that everybody thinks that we are a 'perfect family'. Or, at school. They expect you to get top grades throughout the school to get a place at the most prestigious colleges. And if we don't, they lecture us about staining the 'family' name or tarnishing their 'reputation'.

We are expected to have purified manners and class, and if we don't do any of this, if we aren't the 'perfect' that they desire. Then they will disown us, throw us out on the street and forget that you ever existed. Forget that you were even their child. It's confidence throwing and heart-breaking. They make us feel like we are nothing without them, that we are just a trophy to show off, to show people that they own us. That they control everything.

That's why I detest the idea of Mr Morelli having all the control and power over me because I don't want him to control me like my parents once did. I don't want to be his trophy, prize or achievement that he can show-off. I want to show people that I have achieved everything that I am and that I achieved everything on my own. I want to show people that I am an independent and strong-willed woman that doesn't need a man to control everything that she does. I want to be known for me, not for being his wife.

And that's why I am not going to submit to Mr Morelli, why I am not going to allow him to have the satisfaction of me being his toy. I am going to escape him, mark my words. Whether that is going to be sooner or later, I promise that I am going to get out of here. As far away from him as I can get. People always say, 'the sooner the better'. But, that's not true in all situations, sometimes you have to be manipulative and calculative and take all the time that you need, to escape something as toxic as him.

***

My back feels so much better, I can sit down and stand up without nearly crumbling to the floor in pain. I know that sounds dramatic, but how would you feel if you had several deep welts carved into your back? It is damn, well painful. I defended.