I Had To Know Her

Chapter 25

Elena's POV:

I stayed at Caroline's that night. I actually told Jenna were I was this time, and it wasn't a lie. I was really at a friend's house and not spending the night with my vampire boyfriend.

I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to face the fear of being alone. I was scared to be alone now. Stefan was capable of hurting others, so what's the difference of hurting them and me?

Caroline came upstairs and told me that she made breakfast. She likes to wake up early and start her day, and me on the other hand is the opposite.

I got out of my sleeping bag that was on the floor, and followed her downstairs, taking a seat at her dining room table, with a plate of food in front of me.

I began to take a bite but put it back down before it came close to my mouth.

''Elena, you need to eat.'' Caroline said when she noticed my action.

''I'm not hungry.'' I said, even though I was, I just couldn't force myself to eat. My stomach felt too sick, but not actually sick, like emotionally sick.

She nodded and understood my pain.

I decided to go home after that, and maybe the thought of being alone wasn't so bad after all.

I got in my car, as Caroline walked me out too it and waved once I left her driveway.

The whole way home, I was just focused on the road and nothing else. 

I pulled into my driveway and walked inside, but not to Jenna sitting on the couch, not too Jeremy blasting the noise on his x-box, but to my boyfriend. Standing right there in front of me. Inside my house. Waiting for me.

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''What are you doing here?'' I demanded.

''I came here, for you. To talk to you. To make things alright again, Elena.'' He said, coming closer to me.

''Don't come any closer.'' I said.

He stopped, and stood right there, only about a few feet in front of me.

He stared at me for a moment, looking me up and down before finding my eyes and looking into them, but I broke the stare.

''Look at me.'' He said in a quiet tone.

''Why should I?''

''Because I love you, and I know you love me back.'' He said.

He was right. I did love him. But at the moment, I didn't want too. I didn't want to show my love for him.

''Why did you do it?'' I demanded again.

''It's not what it sounds like. I didn't mean to kill him, Elena.'' He started. ''I get in these moments, these moments I feel every ounce of strength in my body dissapear. I feel myself getting hungry, I feel myself begin to fade away, and someone else coming to take over my body. I'm not myself. I wasn't myself when I killed that man, I can promise you that. I know that you have a right not to believe me, but I'm telling you the truth, Elena. I didn't mean to hurt him. I was having a rough morning and he was acting like a dick to me, and it just came out of no where.''

I wanted to believe him. I just didn't know if I could get myself too.

''So you're trying to tell me, that you killed him, but you didn't mean to kill him?'' I said.

''A little bit, yes. I didn't mean to kill him, but I did. I just had this hunger come over me. I can't control it, and I wish you could understand it, but you can't because you're not a vampire.'' He said.

He was right. I don't understand the life of being a vampire and I didn't want to understand it either. It was scary.

''Stefan, I know the words you are saying to me right now are true, but I just don't want this hunger to come over with when we are together.'' I said, scared. ''I don't want you to end up hurting me like you hurt him.'' I started to feel myself choking up, like I was going to start crying at any moment.

''Elena, I'm never going to hurt you. I can promise you that, I just need you to believe in me.'' 

The emotions in my body that I was feeling were starting to overwhelm me, and I let out a faint cry.

''Please don't cry, please.'' He said.

I couldn't help mysef and started to cry even more, and felt myself drifting closer to him, and before I knew it, my arms were wrapped around him.

He was shocked at my response of wanting to be near him, and wrapped his arms around me as well.

''I'm never going to hurt you, Elena.'' He said, again.

''I know.'' I said, giving him my trust.

Stefan and I spent the rest of that night, cuddled up on the couch, watching TV, but the words coming from the TV were the only words being spoken that night. We didn't talk, we just enjoyed each other's company and I really didn't know what to say to him and he knew better than to bring up a topic that would cause me to think about the whole situation again.

Stefan left, and I kissed him before he left. I felt like it was only right to do. We were okay again, and we didn't need to keep our distance from each other anymore. He was my boyfriend.

I wasn't scared of being alone anymore. I wasn't afraid that Stefan was going to come and hurt me. He sounded like he was going to be okay, and that this was only just a mistake.

He told me that night that he compeled everyone in the town to forget about his mistake, and that the news stations were never going to bring up the topic of him killing someone again. He was in the clear. But I'm never going to forget about it. It's always going to be in the back of my mind that my boyfriend killed someone, and this isn't his first victum. 

I just needed to push it to the side, and act like it didn't hurt me in anyway. He was trying to be strong about the situation, and I needed to be as well.