I Had To Know Her

Chapter 29

Elena's POV:

It's been a few days since Stefan has became a human once again and our relationship has been so great. I didn't usually worry too much about him being supernatural and everything, but ever since his little killing incident, I started to worry. I didn't feel like myself around him anymore, I didn't get my usual butterflies I do everytime I see him, I just was kinda plain. 

I've regained those butterflies and being myself around him much more. He's been in such a good mood and it rubs off on me when I'm around him.

I've been taking depression pills lately, well since the accident and I'm trying to get off them for good now. Stefan is a good escape.

We got a day off school due to too much snow, so Stefan came over and we've spent the entire time buried in my blankets, cuddling together in bed.

''Babe, as much as I love laying here with you, we need to get up and do something productive.'' He said.

''Whhhhhhhy?'' I said, in my lovely kind of voice.

''Because. I feel gross just sitting around all day. Why don't we go out and do something?'' 

''Do something? Stefan, you do realize that there is about 5 inches of snow on the ground right now, and the temperature is probably about 10.'' I said.

''Why don't we go sledding?''

After he said sledding, a bunch of memories came flashing back to me.

My parents used to take Jeremy and myself sledding all the time when we had snowdays, or even just a normal winter day.

My dad would walk me up the huge hill, and then pick me up and drop me on the sled before pushing me down, and I would scream and cry until I hit the bottom and a complete stop, and then I would run back up the hill and say 'again! again!'

I haven't done much sledding the past couple of years, since I've grown up a lot and my parents didn't find it enjoyable to take a 17 and 15 year old sledding.

It did sound fun though.

''Sledding?''  I said.

Stefan just stared at me for a moment with a huge smile on his face, acting like a little kid wanting to get his way.

''I guess.'' I said.

Stefan shot out of bed and stood up, walking over to the side of the bed that I was laying on, grabbing my hands and jerking me out of bed as well.

''You're pushy.'' I said.

''I like being that way.'' He said. ''Now get up and get ready.''

I put on some snow pants, a jacket, gloves, a hat, scarf and pretty much everything else that would help to keep me warm. I was a freeze baby.

Stefan burrowed some of Jeremy's clothes so he didn't have to go all the way home and come back. Jeremy was about Stefan's size so it was a good idea.

''Ready?'' He said.

I nodded and we walked out to his car, putting the sleds that were in my garage and setting them in his trunk.

We drove a couple blocks away to the hill that I used to go sledding at with my parents, and more memories started to flow back.

I told Stefan about how this was the place.

''We don't have to go here if you don't want too, I can find another place.'' Stefan said looking over at me.

''This is fine. I'm fine.'' I said, opening the car door and going to the trunk to take the sleds out.

Stefan followed me and grabbed the sleds out of my hand, carrying them up the hill as I followed like a gentlemen.

We got up to the top of the hill and Stefan dropped the sled on the ground, and waved me over to sit on it.

''You don't want to go first?'' I asked.

''Of course not. Ladies first.'' 

I smiled and sat down. 

''Ready?'' He said.

''Please don't be so rough and push me down the hill as fast as you can.''

He smirked and did just what I told him not too, and pushed me about 50mph down the hill. I got to the bottom and stuck up my middle finger at him, mouthing ''I hate you.'' 

He of course, mouthed ''I love you.'' back.

Jerk.

I got back up to the top of the hill and it was his turn to go down. 

I tried pushing him but he too heavy for my little self, so he ended up using his hands and pushing himself down.

We stayed at the hill for a little while more, and then ended up driving to a little cafe down the street, to warm up, and to drink some hot chocolate.

''I had fun today.'' Stefan said when we sat down at the table with our cups.

''Me too. I always have fun with you.'' 

He smiled and we continued talking about our memories of winter, snow days and everything else.

I sometimes wish I was still that innocent little girl I used too, not having a single care in the world. I just would go to school, come home and go out and play. I didn't have to worry about how all the work I'm doing right now in school, determing my future, boys, friends, etc. 

I would do anything to go back. To have my parents to tell me what not to do, and to fight about stupid stuff with Jeremy.

I'm now grown and the real world is starting to hit me.

Stefan dropped me off at home after we were finished and I took all my wet clothes off, sticking them in the dryer and walking upstairs, before falling over on my bed.

I've been having these thoughts lately, the ones about my childhood, my parents and it seems to become the only thing that crosses my mind.

It's overwhelming me, and I haven't talked to anyone about it.

No one even knows I take depression pills. No one knows I'm having these thoughts.

I don't even know how to handle these or what to even do with myself.

I don't want these thoughts anymore. I sometimes don't want the life I have anymore. I sometimes wish I was someone else.

I need someone or something to take these thoughts away.

I just want my old life back.