COMPLETED
Mad:
•Insane
•Very angry
•Great, remarkable
Sang Sorenson is mad. Very mad. But growing up in the mafia with an abusive family, who wouldn't be? Sang is ordered to kidnap a certain growing team in the Academy, the Blackbourne-Toma team. Wi...
No you're not! My mind screams back at me. You will never be okay! You are too fucked up to ever be okay!
I ignore my mind and repeat to myself, "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay..."
Shut up Sang. Who do think you are trying to convince? You aren't strong enough to ever be okay. You will never ever be okay.
I boot upright and shout, "I am strong enough! I will be okay!"
No. You think you are strong, but you are weak. You can't even handle sleeping.
I shake my head and cry out, "No!"
My mind seems to scoff at me, Do you really thinking shouting no will change anything? You. Are. Weak. You are everything that Mother says you are, girl.
Frantically, I insist, "No! I am strong enough! I can do this! Mother is wrong! I am not weak! I am not useless! I am not a coward! I am strong!"
Oh yeah? Then why are you talking to yourself? You are already breaking down and going insane and you haven't even seen shit.
"I am not crazy!" I scream.
I am not crazy. I am not crazy. I am not crazy. I am not crazy.I am not crazy. I am not crazy. I am not crazy.I am not crazy. I am not crazy. I am not crazy. I am not crazy. I am not crazy.
Shut up! If you have to remind yourself that you are sane, you must not be sane!
"Lies," I whisper, but my heart is not in it.
Truth. You are broken. You are crazy. You are weak.
I find myself nodding in agreement.
I am broken.
I am crazy.
I am weak.
But broken is not the same thing as destroyed.
All the best people are a little bonkers.
I can get stronger.
I ignore my mind and rise up from my bed.
I can do this.
Mother and Father may control everything except my mind. I refuse to let them control how I think.
I stand and dress myself in a pair of shorts and a tank top and head to the training center to get my exercise done early. I spend an hour running on the treadmill, an hour pounding the punching bag practicing various techniques and combos, and an hour lifting various weights in various ways for various lengths of time. Very various.
Empowered, I am able to get in a lot of training and still feel great.
Wow, I should get into shouting matches with my mind more often.
I am on my way to my bedroom to take a shower because, well, I stink, when I spot Kayli.
"Oh, hi, Kayli!" I call with a wave.
Kayli turns and spots me, breaking into a smile.
"Hello, Sang. Long time, no kill. Why haven't you been killing more people?" She asks sternly.
I sigh, "More? I already have terrible nightmares."
Kayli gives me a reprimanding look.
"Pink Diamond, you know this, I've talked with you about this before."
Seeing my resigned nod, she continues, "If you want the nightmares and pain to go away, you have to kill more people. It is that simple, darling."
I nod, and agree, "Okay, Kayli. I trust you."
"Good, darling, " Kayli cooes. "Now, let's start with some of those prisoners of yours. All caged up and ready for you."
Wait, the boys?
"I thought we liked the boys?" I question with a furrowed brow.
Kayli tuts, "No, no, Sang. They are fun, sure, while they last, but all good things must come to an end. Including their lives."
I'm still reluctant so Kayli offers, "What if we kill one of two today and come back for the others later? Would that be okay?"
Not really, but "Okay."
Kayli grins in satisfaction like a fat cat. Not that I have seen many cats. But I have a good imagination.
Kayli hooks her arm through mine and we walk together down to the dungeon.
I push the door open and Kayli and I happily walk in together. The boys instantly come to the edge of their cells trying to see who it is.
"Hello, boys!" I call innocently.
"Hello, Sang," Sean greets me with a huge smile.
"W-What-t a-are you doing-g here?" Nathan stutters with an adorable blush painted on his cheeks.
I smile.
"I think I will let Kayli explain," I decide.
Owen looks at me, "When will this "Kayli" arrive?"
I tilt my head.
"What do you mean? She's right here," I say gesturing to Kayli who is right beside me.
Marc looks at me nervously.
"There's no one there, Sang."
⚪⚫⚪⚫⚪⚫⚪⚫⚪
Sorry this one is so short! I just feel like it should end here. Plus, I have been a little busy getting the first chapter of Winter's Warrior done with Cora.
The song is Control by Halsey and I really feel that it fits this chapter.
