Crankgameplays Imagines

Tears In Heaven

~ Ethan's POV ~

Every morning when she wakes up, for just a split second, she smiles. That is the only time she ever smiles with genuine happiness anymore. As soon as she turns over in our bed, and doesnt see me lying there beside her, her smile disappears, and it doesnt return until the following morning, when the same thing happens. Every single morning.

She sits up in bed, her eyes glancing over to my closet, which she still hasnt cleared out. Honestly, at this point, I doubt she ever will. Ripping her eyes from the view they fixed themselves on, she shakes her head and gets out of bed, then straightens out the covers, and leaves our bedroom, the old typewriter she intended to use to write stories of us, left unused and collecting dust in the corner of the room. My voice is heard from another bedroom in our apartment, and tears sting her eyes as she glances over her shoulder. Not even the sound of my voice brings her temporary, false hope anymore. It used to, and I think that her heart breaking every time she realised the truth, was the reason it no longer brings her hope at all. She strolls over to the closed door that stands between her and the sound of my voice. With a shaking hand, she gently pushes the door open, to see our three year old son Peter sleeping soundly, but with his mother's ipad on his lap, still playing videos of mine from the playlist he was watching last night. Upon listening to it for a few seconds, I recognise some of the characters Im referring to, and realise that he's watching my Undertale
playthrough. Her chin begins to wobble as she gives our son a sad smile, and tiptoes over to him to pause the video that's still playing, as well as putting the ipad down on the floor beside his bed.

She leaves the room and gently closes the door behind her, before venturing into the bathroom and stepping into the shower. There, the sobs she was holding back in our son's bedroom, are set free, and wrack through her body viciously as the hot water streams down her body. The sound of the water mutes her cries, and as a result, the shower is one of the only places that my love can continue to let her heart grieve.

Her blue hair is tied back into a loose bun as she steps out of the shower, using her towel to catch the excess water droplets escaping her hair. It doesnt take her long to choose an outfit when she returns to our bedroom, in fact, it never takes her long anymore, because she cant stand getting dressed in our room and not hearing me either singing in the shower, or wolf whistling at her as I get dressed a few feet away from her. She carelessly throws on a plain black t-shirt, and some black skinny jeans, then speed walks out of the room, and heads for the kitchen. Once there, she starts preparing breakfast for Peter.

The sound of little feet running down the hall brings a small smile to my love's face, and as soon as he son enters the room, she turns to present him with a bowl of cereal, and he grins at her.
"Good morning Mommy!" Peter chimes.
And she just smiles softly at him "Mornin' Pete, did you sleep well?"
He nods as he climbs up onto a chair to get to his cereal "Yeah! I dreamed that me and Dad were listening to Sans tell stupid jokes, it was so cool!"
At the mention of me, my love visibly flinches, but Peter was too fixated on his cereal to notice "That's great, honey."
Pete munches down his first spoonful of cereal "Is Uncle Sean still coming over today?"
She nods "He should be here in the next hour or so."
Pete continues to stare at his cereal bowl as he thinks deeply about something "It's gonna be weird, 'cause Im used to seeing him in videos with Dad, when he had green hair and Dad had blue hair." He looks up at his mom and smiles "And now YOU have blue hair!"
She chuckles "Yeah, your dad would say Im copying him, and he'd be right!"
Peter laughs with her, then sighs "I wish I could talk to Dad."
She raises an eyebrow "What would you want to say to him?"
Our son finishes his bowl of cereal before answering her "I'd want to ask why he had to go, and tell him to come back, because you're always sad that he's not here."
She walks over to him and kisses the top of his head "I miss him, but Im alright, dont worry about me bud."
Peter smiles up at her, then hops down from the table and runs to the bathroom to brush his teeth, leaving her alone in the kitchen. She takes his bowl and starts washing it up in the sink, but I can tell from her expression that she isnt focussed on what she's doing at all. The words our son just spoke have reopened the wounds that never really closed, and she's in agony.

Sean pulls her into a hug as soon as he enters the apartment, and she gratefully returns to it, before pulling away and leading him into the kitchen.
"(Y/N), how are you doi-"
"UNCLE SEAN!!" An excited scream pierces the air, and suddenly our son launches himself at Sean, who laughs and manages to catch him.
"Hey little man! What's goin' on?"
Peter beams at him "Im just watching my favourite tv!"
Sean gently places him back down on the ground "Well, Im sure you dont wanna miss any of that! Your mom and I will be in there soon, ok?"
Our son nods frantically, and speeds back into the living room.
"How're you holding up?" Sean asks her tenderly.
My love laughs, without humour "Im not holding up at all Sean, and I wont ever be alright again, you know that. I can put on the same brave face I have been for the past two years, but that doesnt change anything. Honestly, if I didnt have Pete, I would've joined him." Despite not saying my name, Sean knows exactly who she's talking about.
He shakes his head "Dont say that."
She runs a hand through her hair "It's the truth, Sean. I love you, I love my friends, but the only reason Im alive right now is because part of Ethan is still alive, and he's watching..." Her eyes go wide with a realisation, and all colour drains from her face "...his favourite tv."
She runs towards the living room, and stops dead in her tracks when she reaches the doorway. Sean follows her, confusion written all over his face, but once he's standing with her in the doorway, he understands completely.
"C'mon Pan, we've gotta go back to NeverLand, Wendy's just finished cooking dinner!" My voice flows from the tv speakers, our son sat cross legged in front of the tv, watching the video I recorded of me carrying baby Pete as though he was flying, back into the kitchen, where my glowing wife stands, serving up plates of food "Peter Pan junior and senior reporting for dinner!" I chime, and she turns to face me, seeing the camera in my hand and rolling her eyes as she makes a reference to CrankyVlogs.
The present her, watches on from the doorway, covering her mouth with her hand as tears burn her eyes. Our son's favourite tv, that's what he calls all the home videos I recorded of us, before my car accident.
Sean wraps an arm around her and takes her out of the room, pulling her into the hallway to hug her as silent sobs make her entire body shake feverishly. It's agonising to see her in so much pain.

She sits on our son's bed, gently brushing his hair out of his face as she tucks him into bed.
"Do you want a bedtime story tonight, bud?" She asks him quietly.
Pete shakes his head "Can you sing for me Mommy? The song you always sing!"
A gorgeous half smile makes it onto her face "Of course I can, Pan." I see the pain flash in her eyes as she uses the nickname that I used to give him, the use of which causes our son to giggle. My love clears her throat, before her lips part again, and a beautiful melody falls from them, the same one I've heard so many times.
"I must be strong,
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven."
Peter raises an eyebrow "Mommy, where is Dad now?"
I notice her clutching the hem of her shirt at her side, but keeping a calm expression, putting on a brave face for our son "He's watching over us, always. He's not gone, he never will be, and neither will I. He's like Peter Pan, remember? You just have to believe in him."

And my love is absolutely right. If I'd wanted to, I could have ventured onto whatever afterlife there may or may not be, but I chose to stay here, walking the earth as nothing more than a lonely spirit, watching over the family I never wanted to leave behind.

Im sorry I cant be there for you anymore, baby.

But maybe this old typewriter you bought will be of some use after all.

Can you see this?

Im right here. I know you always tell Pan junior that, but dont ever let yourself forget either, ok?

I love you, so much, and I promise you, I am here.