Crankgameplays Imagines

Not Good Enough

I know that a lot of you, like me, will be feeling a little helpless in regards to Ethan making it apparent that at times he feels like he isnt good enough. That's not a bad reflection on Ethan, it's simply us caring about him so much that we want to do everything in our power to make sure he's alright. I wrote this imagine for all of us, to ease your minds at least a little. I hope this helps some of you, whoever it reaches 💙
In light of his tweet, I did actually start something on tumblr, a chain of kind messages from Ethan, left by so many different people in this community. If any of you would like to get involved in that, message me on my tumblr (pastanestor) , if enough people get involved he'll hopefully see it.

~ Your POV ~

As soon as you read the tweet, you're filled with concern and intense worry, and you text your boyfriend as you place your luggage on the conveyer belt.

You: babe, are you ok?

His tweet caused alarm bells to start ringing inside your head. Ethan hasnt brought up feeling insecure in so long, you'd hoped that he'd realised what a wonderful person he is, and that his insecurities no longer got to him. He opens up to you more than anyone else, given that you're his girlfriend, and the fact he hasnt mentioned those issues in so long and yet he just tweeted about them...

Ethan: yeah, are you?

Immediately, you stop walking.

You: talk to me, what's goin on inside that head of yours bud?

Ethan: I cant type it into words, I dont know

Almost as a reflex, you dial his number and hold your phone to your ear. As soon as he picks up the phone, you hear him sniffling through the call, and that's all it takes. Without sparing a second thought, you bolt along the conveyer belt and pick your luggage back up, before hanging up the phone and sprinting out of the airport. You stand at the side of the road, and when your eyes lock onto a cab you wave at it frantically, not caring about how stupid you may appear to onlookers.

By the time you reach the front door of yours and Ethan's shared apartment, you're a panting mass from all the running you've done, not to mention carrying your suitcases up three flights of stairs because the elevator decided to break today. Not wanting to surprise your boyfriend too much, you knock on the door and impatiently wait for him. After a minute or so of shuffling from the other side of the door, Ethan swings it open, and you can tell that he's tried to cover up the fact he's been crying, but you can see right through it. His eyes go wide at the sight of you.
"(Y/N)? What're you doing here!?! You're supposed to be on a plane right now!" Ethan babbles.
You shake your head and walk past him, dragging your suitcases behind you "Fuck the plane."
Ethan shuts the door, and you drop your luggage before turning around and pulling him into your arms.
"You dont have to talk, you dont have to try and force yourself to put your feelings into words, I have a broad idea of what's going on, and that's enough for me to know how to help. If you need to cry, cry. If you just want to cuddle in silence, we can do that. Whatever it is you need, you can tell me. And if you dont know what you need, that's fine too." You tell him "On the way here I called my boss and told him there was a family emergency that meant I couldnt attend the business meeting in Florida, and he was very nice about it, so you dont need to worry about me getting in trouble either. Everything is ok."
Ethan sniffles into your hair "Thank you so much."
You shake your head "No need to thank me, it's what Im here for."
A moment of silence passes, in which you and Ethan stand there, just hugging in the hallway of your apartment, and then he speaks up in a small voice.
"(Y/N)...do you think Im funny?"
You nod frantically "Ethan, you're genuinely the funniest person I've ever met! You know from seeing me hang out with even my closest friends who I've known since high school, nobody can ever make me laugh as hard as you can. Your humour is so natural and effortless, you're witty and quick and so fucking clever, but I know you dont see that. The comedic skill you have is visible to anyone in every single one of your videos, not to mention you're genuine and ridiculously kind hearted personality that shines through in all of them as well! But dont just take my word for it, come on!" You pull away from him and grab his hand, leading him into your shared bedroom and sitting down on your bed, then patting the space beside you for him to sit down while you get your phone out.
"What are you doing?" Ethan asks curiously.
You smile "If I know this community, and I do know this community, there will already be countless responses to your tweet from people who watch your videos and love your content, expressing how funny you are and what your humour has helped distract them from, how your genuine care for them has made them feel loved more than anything else in their lives. And not even just to that tweet! I'll bet you anything I could go into the CrankGameplays tumblr tug and find countless messages to you expressing the same thing, because your community loves and supports you 100%." You pass him your phone and give him a kiss on the cheek "Im just one person, so maybe hearing it from me isnt going to help you because you think that I, as your girlfriend, am biased, which is understandable. So, take it from the people who have made your dreams come true: you're more than good enough, and you always will be."
Ethan's chin wobbles as he smiles at you, his gaze then fixing on your phone screen as he reads through just a fraction of the hundreds of replies people have already left in response to his tweet.
"You've saved so many lives Ethan, including mine. So many people, like me, wouldnt know what to do without you in their lives, and just thinking about where they would be if they hadnt found you is terrifying. Not having you in my life is something I have legitimate nightmares about, and it is the scariest thing I've ever experienced, because it's like losing my entire world in the blink of an eye. You're the brightest ray of sunshine in my life, and to start seeing that light go out breaks my heart. Ethan, I love you for who you are, and so does this community. Dont ever lose sight of happiness, but dont ignore sadness either, because without either, how can you truly understand the other?" You question, after a pretty lengthy ramble.
Ethan turns to you with tears streaming down his cheeks, and an almost awestruck expression on his face. Before you even have time to wipe his tears away, Ethan's lips are on yours, wordlessly expressing exactly how he feels. He pulls away breathlessly and rests his forehead against yours.
"I love you so fucking much, thank you, just for being here and putting up with my shit." He smiles at you.
You giggle at his remark and shrug "I put up with your shit and you put up with mine, and if I can make you smile at the end of it, it's absolutely worth it."
Ethan grins at you as he pulls away slightly and takes your hand in his "Oh, and thanks for almost completing the movie cliché of missing your flight just to run into the arms of your upset boyfriend."
You wink at him "My pleasure. Just to warn you, from here on out, the compliments that I tend to keep locked inside my head every time I see you are all going to be free falling from my lips, because your self confidence is clearly not as built up as I thought it was, and Im going to do everything in my power to fix that. By the way, even after crying as much as you have done, you're still the most handsome man in existence, and I love you with all my heart."
Ethan's cheeks flush pink "I love you too, and thank you."
You roll your eyes playfully "With the amount you've thanked me since I got here, Im starting to believe you're British! Or maybe Canadian?"
Ethan chuckles, then puts on his incredible fake-British accent "Oi, am totally British innit!"
You facepalm "And just like that, every single British person simultaneously abandoned their accents."
Ethan laughs and pulls you into his arms as he changes the topic of conversation "Y'know how earlier, you told me to trust the people who've made my dreams come true?"
You nod and raise an eyebrow at him "Yeah, what about it?"
Ethan grins at you then, and gives you such intense heart eyes you really dont know how you didnt melt.

"You are my favourite dream come true."