Crankgameplays Imagines

Where My Demons Hide

~ Your POV ~

Months before he opened up to you about it, you noticed a change in him. You didnt press him about it, because you sensed that this wasnt something as simple as one thing upsetting him, or making him distance himself from you. The change was gradual, but you picked up on it straight away. He was trying to hide his sadness from you, he wasnt confronting it himself, and he wouldnt let himself talk about it to anyone, not even you. It was almost as though he was shielding you from what was going on inside his head.

I want to hide the truth,
I want to shelter you,
But with the beast inside,
There's nowhere we can hide.

The physical change was what really got the alarm bells ringing in your mind. So many times, you'd look into his eyes, you'd see the spark that you were so familiar with, the adoration he had for you was so perfectly reflected in those hazel orbs. The latter was something you still saw, but his spark had disappeared, his eyes were clouded, unclear. Something within him was tearing him apart, bit by bit, and until he was comfortable enough to talk to you about it, all you could do was hold him, be there for him, and continue to love him, always.

When you feel my heat,
Look into my eyes,
It's where my demons hide.

One night, the two of you had a very deep, spur-of-the-moment conversation. Ethan had just taken close to two weeks away from youtube and social media, he spent his well deserved break resting his mind, and when that time was coming to an end, he finally opened up to you. The things he told you about his lack of confidence, faith in himself and his worth, whether he actually deserved the success he had, and how convinced he was that he didnt deserve you, it brought tears to your eyes. To think that such fierce, tragic demons had been haunting him, behind small smiles that never reached those hazel eyes. He had let you in, at long last, and no matter what it took, you were going to help him.

Don't get too close,
It's dark inside,
It's where my demons hide.

You held him close to you, and told him the story of the girl you were, prior to meeting him. How lost you were all your life, how unstable everything and everyone around you always felt, how uncertain you were of your own future and how much that scared you. From the moment you first saw one of his videos, you were hit with the overwhelming sense of clarity, and for the first time in your entire life, your mind gave you a break. After that, there was always him. No matter how bad things got, you always had videos from him that could bring a smile to your face. Even if every person you cared for left you behind, you werent alone, you never had to face anything by yourself, because you had Ethan. From then on, one aspect of your future was crystal clear, you had a goal, something to work towards, that you could really put your faith in.
"What was it, your goal?" Ethan questioned quietly.
And with a smile on your face, you told him.
"You."

Don't want to let you down,
But I am hell bound.

"The one person that could never let me down, the only safe and secure thing that I had in my life, and when I met you, I had never been more sure of anything in my entire life. My future was, and continues to be, you."
Ethan buried his face in your neck "I love you, so fucking much."
You gently combed your fingers through his hair, and turned your head to kiss his cheek "I love you too."
He sniffled quietly "Im sorry I kept all this from you for so long."
You shook your head "Dont apologise, you took the time you needed to come to terms with all of this, and now that I have an idea of what's going on, I can do more to help."
Ethan sighed softly "You already do so much, you dont have to do anything else. As long as you're here, I know I'll be alright."
You smiled "Being alright is good and all, but since when has Ethan Mark Nestor settled for anything mediocre? I seem to recall you being known for how loud and excitable you are!"
Ethan chuckled "I guess you're right, I've never settled for mediocre, which is how I ended up with the best girlfriend in the world."
Your eyes widened "Shit...that was smooth, I wasnt prepared for that."
He shrugged "What can I say? Even when Im at my lowest, there isnt anything I wouldnt do to make you smile."

Though this is all for you,
Don't want to hide the truth.

The next day, Ethan went into his recording room for the first time in close to two weeks, and made a lengthy video to celebrate the sixth year anniversary of the channel by watching older videos, as well as announcing his return to youtube, and adding in a small section towards the end in which he briefly talked about what had been getting him down. When Ethan came out of his recording room, you had no idea what he had said when recording, and you wouldnt know until he uploaded it, but when you saw the expression on his face, you ran to him and pulled him into your embrace. His arms enveloped you, his warmth surrounding you as he released a sigh of relief. Pulling away from him slightly, you looked up at him, and read his eyes, to see the clouds within them beginning to clear, and his spark peaking through behind them, like sunbeams breaking through a cloudy sky.

When you feel my heat,
Look into my eyes,
It's where my demons hide.

Reaching up, you gently caressed his cheek with your hand, and one of Ethan's hands immediately left your waist, to hold you hand against his face, as his eyes closed, and a few tears slipped down his cheeks. A soft smile spread across his face, and you stood up on your tiptoes to place a feathery light kiss on his lips, causing his eyes to open, and his smile to widen. The space between your bodies in that moment was non-existent, and in those few precious seconds, you watched the light return to his eyes, the demons still buried deep within his mind, but no longer hiding from you.

Don't get too close,
It's dark inside,
It's where my demons hide.

Ethan stared down at you in awe as the brightest smile he had ever seen, overtook the entirety of your countenance, and your eyes twinkled up at him as happy tears stung your eyes. He couldnt believe that revealing his demons to you and being so vulnerable, would cause such a reaction. This vulnerability, which had previously left him terrified, had done the impossible, and brought you closed than ever. More than that, it had you practically glowing with pride, and the motivation to do whatever you could to help him, he could see that all, clear as day, just by a fixed gaze.

Your eyes, they shine so bright,
I want to save their light.

It was in that moment, Ethan knew that this was the best thing he could have done, not only for himself, but for you, and the relationship you shared. The determination you had to help him heal, it was almost overwhelming to him, but in the best way. It occurred to him then that the strength he had been searching for to overcome his demons, was standing right in front of him.

I can't escape this now,
Unless you show me how.

The light in your eyes was what would pull him out of his darkness, it had already started. But, as Ethan felt himself falling into your eyes, he noticed something else. Subtle shadows of the clouds that had left your eyes, the remnants of the demons that you had told him about. The demons that you managed to fight off, once you found Ethan. Their memories are still there, held in your gaze, and, like his, are no longer hiding. They had been there all along, but Ethan couldnt see them, until he'd revealed his own.

Look into my eyes,
It's where my demons hide.

"You helped me fight my demons, and now Im going to help you fight yours." You told him, your voice almost a hushed whisper.
"How?" Ethan asked, not knowing where to start.
In response, you winked at him "Trust me, they dont stand a chance against me."
The words fell from your lips, and without even questioning it, Ethan believed you. Nobody had ever sounded so certain when saying anything to him, before that moment, and every part of him, even his demons, had faith that you would help him win.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Ethan found himself smiling, and this time, his happiness was strong enough to reach his eyes.

It's where my demons hide.