Tuesday May 22nd, 2018
Approximately 161 days to go
Today I, well I lost it. I hit a low point. It's been a week since he left and today I wanted to rip my hair out, scream, cry, and just bash my head into a wall. Today I felt like I belonged in a crazy house. I felt everything collapse on me. I felt a million bombs blow up in my head and cause such a disaster for awhile I just sat there. I sat in the floor with tear stained cheeks and finally catching my breath and then I remembered. Today was a week. How? How could it have barely hit a week? It felt so much longer. My breakdown had nothing to do with the fact that today marked a week. No in fact I had no idea what had prompted this insane mental and emotional breakdown. It seemed like I had those a LOT as of recently. My mind was always in a constant battle with itself which in turn left me easily irritated, angered, and emotional. The slightest thing could make me go off. I was getting better though. Or well at least I was trying. I was trying to control these insane outbursts and these impulses that made me feel like psycho who belonged on the nut house. My mother blames it on him. She blames all of my problems on him. As if they didn't exist before he came into my life. Because that makes perfect fucking sense. If anything he helped me. Alot. Maybe they don't see it. But when I close my eyes I imagine his face. I look into those beautiful brown eyes and i take a deep breath and try to let it go. I imagine his arms around me and i relax. These are the things they don't see. They don't know. Or if they do. They choose to ignore these things. They have no clue that if it weren't for him I would be did. He made me realize my dreams are a reason to live for. They have no idea that when I met him I was only a few days away from ending it all. He doesn't even know but I guess now he will. See the truth is he saved me and he had no idea.
Days gone: 7
YOU ARE READING
The Struggles and Confessions of a Military Girlfriend.
No FicciónMy boyfriend has just been deployed. Everyday is a struggle with lots of things and everyday its so hard to not just want to turn into sleeping beauty herself until my hero comes back to kiss me awake. Maybe you understand, maybe you don't. But this...
