My boyfriend is Lee Min-ho

Chapter Thirty six - My final decision

Okay everybody, thanks for hanging around till now! Sorry, my chapters aren't as long as I wanted them to be. I hope you guys still find it exciting.

Well, this is the last chapter before weekend and also, before Part III actually. I can't believe Part II is over! I hadn't been very satisfied with it anyway... it's just a passing phrase to where all the action is - KOREA!

So, have a good weekend everybody, and keep reading!

*********************************************************************

"You have decided, haven't you?" Shane asked me over dinner, a night before I was due to meet Max to confirm my contract with the troupe.

Actually, my decision was to stay on at the troupe despite my inability to convince myself to like Cats. But I liked doing musicals and I would much prefer to do musicals than Shakespeare. As for Shane and me, I was thinking, if we worked out so be it, but if we didn't, we just moved on with our own lives. I was still young. I couldn't very well allow my life to be tied down by a relationship. I wanted to explore my career opportunities and do something I like rather than what he likes.

The visit from Director Kang jolted me out of my seat once again. In the first place, I wasn't really firmly seated in my decision. I had barely laid my butt on it when he turned up with his offer. One reason I didn't even consider Korea as my grooming ground was because I knew there wasn't an active arts stage as compared to London. Historically and culturally, London offered way more opportunities for me to roam. Korea had barely the minimum.

However, what Director Kang was offering me, was a total different realm - directorship. Of course, I had imagined myself one day eventually after many years on stage, I could move on to become a manager or director for plays. That was the ultimate goal. But now, I had been offered a shortcut. Just that, the final destination had been changed. No longer stage work, but film. This was full exposure to the public. And everybody knew how vibrant the booming Korean entertainment circle was. It was the greatest unbelievable opportunity any person could be offered.

So, the question was, should I accept it?

Moving to Korea would be another change for me. But I had lived in Korea for six months. It wasn't that bad. And it was closer to home. London was nice but it never felt homely. Korea was after all, still an Asian country. And of course, the deep nagging feeling that I would be near to Min-Ho. And perhaps, I could finally find the real reason if so?

Then, what about Shane? Now it would seem that we would be having that distance problem, just like what Min-ho and I had.

Thankfully, there was Maine, who spent the entire night talking on the phone with me. There was no one else closer to me than her. And thanks to her, I managed to make my decision.

"Yes," I answered quietly.

"Which is?" he asked quietly too, somehow already expecting my answer.

"I'm going to turn down Cats," I said. "Tomorrow, I'm going to tell Max that I won't be signing with the troupe."

"And you will be going to Korea, I reckon?"

"Yes..."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. A little more persistent this time. "Haven't you love the stage more than anything? Film is totally different. You said it yourself too."

"Yes I did..." I did. And I weighed it against each other, with the help of Maine. I wanted to be successful. Who didn't? And my big ego wanted fame and recognition too. Of course, the money was important too. I could always return to the stage if it didn't work out on film. But I would never be again able to step in front of the camera the other way round that easily. And frankly, I really wanted to move nearer to Min-Ho. It was something Maine managed to force my heart to accept after hours and hours of persecution. I loved him. Always did. Unless i tried it again, I would never be able to let it go fully and move on.

"What's going to happen to us?" he asked softly. "Is... he... the reason you want to go to Korea?"

I looked down at the plate, paused, before bitting on my lower lip. "Yes..." I admitted finally. "I'm sorry Shane. I know you have been good to me and everything... but I cannot let it go. Until I try it over with him again, and if this time he rejects me again for me, then I'll be able to let it go fully. I tried... really....to work it out with you... but it's just not fair to you... I am always thinking of him even when I'm out with you... it's just..."

"I know..." he interrupted. "You don't have to go on. Actually, I know. I can see it in your eyes each time we are out together. Your body language tells it all too. You never actually held my hand. I could sense your hesitation. You never hug me. Nor attempt to kiss or want to be kissed. That was very strange for a dating couple. But when he was here last week, you got all excited. Your eyes lit up like they were on fire. I never saw that enthusiasm with me."

"I'm sorry..."

He managed to force out a smile. "I know where I stand." He let out a deep breath. "Well, I hope you won't forget me when you go to Korea. Still friends?"

"Yes, definitely!"

"All the best to you, my friend...." he smiled sadly. "And I wish you all the best with him too."