Why won't You Love me ((Suga Yandere 21+))) ft JHOPE

• 삼 ~ butterflies •

"

"I'm really sorry about everything, I didn't mean to fall," you told the ladies repeatedly as they helped you up a flight of stairs, still dabbing paint off your clothes. "I just--my thoughts went elsewhere for a second and suddenly....I mean...I wasn't concentrating on my...feet..."

But their faces showed no trace of annoyance.

"No worries, accidents happen," the lighting assistant smiled, patting you on the back. You watched as one of the other Agust D staff members buzzed the door to the upper floor open revealing a long, whitewashed hallway with doors lining each side.

"The showers are just at the end," she explained, placing the towel in your grip. "And soap and shampoo's stocked. I'll leave some fresh clothes on the rack outside."

You nodded in gratitude and then they left, leaving you alone with your shame.

Well y/n, at least they're being nice about it, even though you fucked up the audition.

Reaching the end of the hall, you pushed the door open, glancing around to see a row of lockers and showers beyond those.

They were all empty.

Popping yourself in the farthest one, you took off your ruined clothes, wondering if any amount of washing would get the stains out. Then you turned the water to HOT and let the stress roll off you in waves.

Ugh, what a day....

Yet somehow you weren't even thinking about the paint or the accident or the embarrassment that had come with it anymore.

You were thinking about Namjoon.

Bastard. You closed your eyes as the water rushed down your nose. Why do I like you so much?

You wanted to cry but you started singing to yourself instead. Idiotic, I KNOW. But it was a distraction from the thoughts, a way to mitigate the numb, unbearable ache that had started the minute his eyes had blinked back, unfazed, voice never wavering as he rejected a confession 3 years in the making.

"Remember the way you made me feel?" you whispered softly, turning the water up higher. "Such....young...love...but..."

What were the next words?

"something in me knew that it was real. Fro-zen...in my h-head."

You sniffed a disgusting dirge of mucus back up your nose.

"Pictures, I'm living through for n-now...Trying to remember the good times."

Why did his face keep appearing?

"Our life was c-cutting through so loud, memories are playing in my mind and--"

Suddenly, your hands were at your mouth, muffling the sob that had just come up your throat. You started to cry, hot tears somehow even hotter than the shower water, blending and pattering down your wilting skin with each passing second.

It's not real, it can't be real! It can't be...I swear, I didn't make a misjudgment. I swear he....he....he asked me to meet him so many times alone, he always looked out for me when I was sick or needed help with English or calculus or....

The tears streamed down your cheeks. After all you had felt, after everything he had said....you had been sure, this time you had waited and made sure he really did like you and....

"And I, hate this part, paper hearts. And I'll hold a piece of yours. Don't think I would just forget about it~"

You froze.