The Real Him

20

October

I rested my head in my hands as I waited for my dad.

The past two days moved faster than ever. I wasn't looking forward to this at all and I was nervous. I wanted him to call back and say he couldn't make it or something came up. I hadn't seen this man in a long ass time and I wasn't sure if I was ready.

"It'll be fine sweetheart." I felt his hand rub my back. I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands before sitting up.

"I'm scared." I mumbled. I never told my mom I was seeing my dad. I saw her for maybe twenty minutes a day and I don't wanna spend it fighting. 

"I know but I promise there is nothing to worry about." Aubrey put his arm around me and pulled me close. I closed my eyes and leaned into him. "Isn't that him?"

My eyes shot open and I saw him. He looked exactly the same except he let his hair grow out a bit. My eyes traveled down his body until it landed on the baby carrier he was holding. I froze. Maybe he was holding it for someone. My question was shot down when he spotted us and walked over with the carrier. He smiled at me as he sat down. I sat up and crossed my fingers together.

"Hey baby." He smiled. 

"October." I cleared my throat. He was silent for a moment until he looked at Aubrey.

"Who's this?" 

"Dad, he lived next to us my whole life." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry but I forgot your name." He looked at Aubrey.

"Aubrey." I always hated how amazing Aubrey was with people, he just instantly made them love him. 

"Right, I'm Eric." They shook hands. "Are you one of her friends?"

"I'm her boyfriend." Aubrey scratched his neck. 

"Oh that's nice." My dad said. He never really liked me having a boyfriend. "So uh you had some questions?" 

"Well first off what is that?" I looked at the carrier. 

"Oh, I though you might like to know." he reached over and picked the baby up from the carrier. It was a baby girl that looked exactly like him. 

"What the hell is that?" I semi-yelled. I felt Aubrey grab my hand for a little comfort.

"This is your sister." I looked at the baby. I really couldn't believe this. "Her name is Autumn." That shocked me more, we had similar names. "Do you uh, wanna hold her?"

"Hell no." I stared at the baby. "I-I can't do this, I really can't." My voice cracked. "Aubrey let me up."

"Come o-" My dad was cut off.

"Let me up now Aubrey." I yelled. He quickly got up and I rushed outside. I could feel the tears burning my eyes as I sat down on a bench outside the diner. I tried to tell myself not to cry but I couldn't take it, I broke down. I didn't like crying at all much less in public. I buried my head in my hands. After a few minutes I felt someone pull me close to them, I knew it was Aubrey. After a few more minutes I wiped my tears and looked up at him.

"Why did he do this to me?" I asked.

"I don't know October." He whispered. "I wish I could tell you, I hate seeing you like this." I saw a look of guilt cross Aubrey's face, but it quickly went away. "Do you wanna go back in there?" 

"I know I have to." I sighed and stood up. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up and we walked inside. As we sat back down my dad looked a bit guilty. 

"October, I'm sorry for springing this on you but I didn't wanna not tell you." I nodded.

"The questions, I want them answered." I brushed a piece of hair from my face.

"Of course." 

"Um, let's start off with where you went." I crossed my arms.

"Right, I ended up moving to Texas, Houston to be exact. It's a few hours from Miami." 

"Yeah I know where Houston is." I rolled my eyes. "How old is she?" I couldn't seem to shake that baby from my head.

"Oh she's just about eight months." He smiled. This didn't add up. He left seven months ago, which meant he had this baby before he left.

"Y-you had this baby before you left?" I grew angry but calmed down a little. 

"Yes, I had her with Deanna, the lady I cheated on your mom with." He mumbled the last part. "Your mother knew about the baby from the beginning but a month after she was born she couldn't take it anymore." I was still stuck on the Deanna thing.

"And you're still associating with that stupid bitch?" I gritted my teeth.

"Language young lady." He warned. "And yes, we actually just got married." I looked down for a moment and quickly reached for Aubrey's hand. 

"Why did you want to see me?"

"Actually Deanna said I should come visit you." He told me. "I was too scared for awhile but Deanna encouraged me. You would probably like her."

"Doubt it." I said under my breath. "Why didn't you call or at least text?"

"Like I said, I was scared." He looked at Aubrey then back at me. "I feel bad for just leaving you though." 

"You should." I glared at him. "For six months, I was completely confused and broken. Hell, I almost didn't have a chance with the best thing that's happened to me. I had zero trust and no commitment because of you." 

"I'm sorry October, I understand you're hurt." 

"No you don't" I raised my voice a little. "That's the point, you don't know any of this. I've changed, you don't know me. For six months, six fucking months, I was hateful, mean and empty because of you. Aubrey fixed me." There was a long pause. "Why did you do it? Huh? So you could ruin our perfect family for a little fun? What was more important than me?" 

"October, our family was far from perfect. There were secrets on both ends, secrets you don't and never will know about." He grew serious. "I never meant to hurt you like this. I did it cause I love Deanna. Don't get me wrong I love your mother, but we just weren't meant to be."

"You know what, fuck you 'dad'." I used finger quotations on the word dad. "Thanks for ruining me and my life, I hope it was worth it." I stood up. "You don't have to worry about me anymore, you have another me right there, we even have similar names." With that I walked away. I knew Aubrey was behind me cause I could hear his footsteps. I knew this was a bad idea. I quickly climbed into the passenger seat. Aubrey followed and got in the drivers side. "Thank you Aubrey." I mumbled once he pulled off.

"For what?" 

"Fixing me." But they say, what's fixed is always broken again. 

**

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~Keyanna