Dawn of a new Force

Chapter 40 - Shadow and light.

The night continued. Each lying on a bunk embedded in a wall on either side of the main square of the ship, they tried to sleep. Ben noticed that Rey finally fell into a deep sleep, interspersed with jerky movements. She dreamed, then her breathing was slow and deep.

Ben took the opportunity to get up. The old shuttle was perfectly silent, it was a night without wind, without life. Nothing but Rey's breathing was heard, and that sweet sound soothed him. He approached her and lifted wicks that flew over her face with each breath. He noticed in the pale glow of the navigation instruments on standby, her freckles. He had already noticed them of course, but tonight he had the impression of seeing a small galaxy on her cheeks. He remained for a moment observing that face which seemed to him so perfect, so strong and so fragile at the same time.

Still finding no rest, he decided to get out of the ship and enjoy the freshness of the desert night. He took a brown cape, and laid it on his shoulders before going out. And the contact of the heavy woolen cloth reminded him of his past at the Jedi Academy. Luke's cloak, his cloak to him. What memories, seeming to belong to another world today.

He wrapped himself in his cloak and took a few steps around the shuttle, staring absently around him. The moon faintly lit the desert, just enough to distinguish a few little beings moving here and there in the darkness. He thought about Luke again. He had so much to say to him, and he could not ask him anymore.

- I told you I will haunt you.

He had felt Luke's presence long before he saw him. He turned without haste.

- I do not feel haunted, not by you.

- Anger, again and again, Ben.

- I'm angry yes. Because nothing of your teaching has prepared me for all that. I had to forget my feelings, I had to deny them. I should not be afraid ... I did not have to show anything! While I had so much to show. So many things that I could have told you, that you could have heard, and you should have helped me! I will never have become this monster, I would have been another.

Luke approached Ben. He seemed sincerely sorry.

- I know that I failed in my mission with you Ben. But the Force always guides us. If you had not been what you are, you might never have met Rey. And thanks to you now, she will bring peace to the galaxy.

- Thanks to me? But who am I, not a master, not a jedi, not a sith ... I am nothing.

- You are everything! All for her, and she's going to need you.

Ben stared at Luke. He challenged him with his eyes.

- Did not you say to deny all feeling? Rey does not deny her feelings, she welcomes them.

- Just like her grandfather ...

- You knew him.

- Yes ... Obi-Wan was a strong man, wise and courageous. But I always did not know he had a family.

Luke paused.

- Ben, you have to help Rey. You have to complete her training, to develop her abilities.

- She does not need help. She is much stronger than anyone can imagine.

- But she will need you. Ben ... the way of your redemption will be long, but Rey has engaged you in. She made an unimaginable effort for you, now it's up to you to do it. This commitment will result from a huge sacrifice that you will have to make, but since you have decided to link your destinies, you will have no other choice ...

- Ben? he heard behind him.

Ben turned around and saw Rey coming down from the ship. He looked in front of him again but there was no one left. At his back, Rey joined him. She came to stand next to him.

- I woke up and you were no longer there ... You're sweating? she asked, surprised.

- I could not sleep.

- Again?

- You're shivering.

- You do not answer my question, she said.

- Here, take my cloak, he said, passing her.

Rey wrapped around Ben's warmed cloak. Ben ... he always decided to answer, or not. What secret was he trying to hide from her, yet?

- Well, we must be honest with each other. What is happening?

Ben did not want to tell her about his conversation with his uncle's ghost, and the terrifying notion of sacrifice he had perceived. He decided to change the subject.

- I think we could train this morning, before continuing our research. I told you that your defense was weak. We will work this point.

- If you want...

She yawned and started to leave. He saw her slim figure dragging a too-big cloak away and smiled slightly. How strange it was ... How she had jostled everything in his life, this little thing when she entered. And he thought how much he could not do without her. Climbing the ship's ramp, Rey stepped into the cloak and fell heavily. Ben rushed to help her up. On reaching her, he saw her, lying on her back, trying to sit up on her elbows. She looked up at him as he dominated her full height.

This vision of Rey made his blood boil. He had visions of the last time he had seen Rey in this position, this time she offered him her whole being. Rey had understood, the pink rose to her cheeks. He leaned over to help her get up and tried to hide his confusion. She did the same.

- Thank you...

- I'll get this cloak, we'll buy one if you want. One that will be better adapted to your size.

They finished up the ramp and closed the door behind them.

- Ben? Rey asked.

- Yes?

- Do you...

She looked down and bit her lip. He felt that she was burning to hear him say something, but he was not sure what that could be. He took the initiative to read in her, and if she felt the delicate intrusion, she did not shut up. Ben opened his eyes again. He had heard what she expected so much.

- Yes. I love you, he said abruptly, opening his eyes.

She looked at him, tears beading in her eyes. He understood, her need for recognition, security, love. He had known what to say, so simply.

- Me too, she whispered.

He approached her and pushed her against the wall of the ship. He dropped the cloak he was holding and began to kiss her. She replied shamelessly to this kiss. That night, they were alone, without anyone to disturb them and without constraint. They were free, and they loved each other.

So Rey let him undo her clothes gently, slowly, let him scan every inch of bare skin he found. When she was in her underwear, he lifted her easily to take her in his arms as he had done once before, the first time they met. He led her into the square and gave a kick to a stack of blankets lined up in a corner, which collapsed into a ragged carpet. He put Rey on it and undressed as she watched him.

When he was totally naked in the darkness of the ship, he lay down next to her and began to kiss her neck, shoulders and went down to her navel, while his fingers slowly undid the thin strips of linen that covered her chest. He could hear her jerky breath and her bursts every time his hands went down a little more to her lower abdomen. He caressed her for a long time, savoring the softness of her skin and the happiness of not having to hide now that they were alone.

Rey tossed him on his back and took the time to detail his bare chest and the many scars that were constellated. She kissed him on the cheek, then the neck, the shoulder, the chest, the belly. He could not stand it anymore. He rebased her back on her back and got on her. He watched her passionately as he joined her as she closed her eyes with pleasure. They made love softly. Ben had to restrain himself from going too fast, or too hard, he was so passionate. But he felt she was enjoying each of his controlled movements.

When they reached their apogee, they remained naked, one against the other, for a long time. Cuddly, he pulled a blanket and laid it on them while he was making a pillow for Rey with his arm. And the night went on in a bubble of unreal sweetness, where even if his arm hurt so much (because he did not dare to move it for fear of waking Rey), he managed to get some sleep, and did not have a nightmare. The first time for so long.