Dawn of a new Force

Chapter 15 - Choices.

He had turned to her, but his eyes did not look at her. His face and fists were closed, and she felt his anger. 

She had not thought that the connection could resume, since Snoke had explained to be at the origin. There had been this last connection on Crait, but nothing since. She had concluded that it was over, and had accepted it. 

Being in front of him, at this precise moment, when everything was peaceful the second before, was astounding. Literally, she did not know what to do. She knew he had felt her, so there was no time to hide. She sat up on the bed and sat in front of him. 

He consented to lower his gaze and meet her eyes. They stared at each other for several seconds without saying anything. It was he who broke the ice this time. 

- I thought that would not happen anymore, that you had closed the way. 

- I did not do anything, one way or the other ... she whispered. 

- So, you found your friends? Are you happier like that? he asked coldly. 

- You know it could not be otherwise. You have chosen a path that I can not take ... 

- False! he cut it, raising his hand. You have chosen a path, you do not want to take the path you must take.  

Rey stood up to get up to him. She was facing him, close. So close that she could have touched him if she had stretched out her arm. 

- You're right, I do not want to take this path. I do not want to be a monster. I do not want to become ... 

- Like me? he said curtly. 

- No, she said. It's you who are trying to persuade you that you are a monster. But I know that deep down, you're not one. 

Kylo turned, he was now back to her. 

- Formerly maybe ... But not anymore. 

- Ben ... do not turn my back on me. 

He turned again. His look was no longer hard, he was sad. He felt more than ever cut in half. He was so angry, he who told her "please," who showed her his plans, who offered her his heart ... He was so alone again. He would have liked so much that she is really there. He stretched his glove towards her, he was close to touching his cheek ... Her heat was burning his hand, what was he doing? He found himself in so much intimacy with her, when all his reason was screaming to kill her quickly and well.  

Rey realized that her breathing had stopped. She did not move, she waited for this contact with impatience. But he seemed to hesitate. What to do? All her reason was screaming at her to back down, to reject him. But Ben Solo was so much like her ... She was sure he was their best hope, even if nobody would want to hear it. She closed her eyes in anticipation of this contact, when the door of her room opened at once. 

Rey turned just in time to see Poe, drunk, land in her room like a dog in a bowling game. She frowned and had to reach out to greet the pitching pilot. She turned her head to Kylo, ​​secretly hoping the connection would be broken but he was still there, his hand down and his eyes dark. 

- Reeeeeeyyyyyyyy! Hey, you know I was scared for you? And not even thanks, nothing! Phew, ya weren't there. And I wanna say to you: eurk ... I'm not very good there. Think I'm going to throw up...

Rey supported Poe who was going to collapse but his weight was too heavy, she had to lie on the bed. She turned to Kylo again, but he was not there anymore. She looked with pity on the poor pilot, usually so flamboyant, and tonight so pathetic. She felt her sadness, she knew that Leïa was like a mother to him, a mother who had disappeared too soon. Poe grumbled something on the bunk and Rey squatted next to him. Chewie knocked on the bedroom door and Rey came to open it. He groaned and Rey reassured him.  

- Don't worry, he did not bother me, she lied. He is drunk, I laid him on the bed. 

Chewie returned to the room, grunting louder. But Rey stood between the two. 

- No! I assure you, he did nothing tendentious. He wanted to talk to me, but he did not succeed. I think he's very sad, she said softly, turning to Poe. 

Poe rolled a tear on his cheek, eyes closed, while continuing to mumble something. Rey patted Chewie's arm gently, and asked him to leave them, that she would take care of him. Chewie went off screeching, it was still the same, and Rey concluded that Han had had to bring such situations to the Wookie before. It gave her a smile, which disappeared when she remembered who was with her the moment before. She regretted the end of their connection, he seemed so close to the light ... 

She took off Poe's boots and stooped to hear what he was mumbling. 

- Damn ... Hux ... stupid ... never ... resist ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

She decided to leave the room and closed it gently so as not to disturb Poe. This awakening and this connection had made her want to sleep. She had to do something, so she thought about the books of Jedi teaching. Maybe she could find out how to repair her lightsaber. And Maz ... she could educate her, advise her on what to do with her new destiny. Since she was no longer on Jakku, Luke was no longer there to help her, she was going to have to find what to do with her life. And hope Ben would join her, as she had seen before. 

She prepared her bag by returning to the room, taking care to carry the broken lightsaber, two books, and all that she needed. She also took a light blaster, like the one Han had give her before. She took a last look at Poe, then recoiled. Could she still leave, alone? She thought of Finn and Poe, who had risked their lives for her. She decided to wait for them to wake up, to explain them. Her decision was made, they would not stop her. But they could accompany her, if they wished. And to tell the truth, she would need companionship.  

She sat down in the summary armchair of her room and closed her eyes, trying to imagine the island of Ach-To ... And in her dream, she saw it ...

She was very small, on the island. A tall, bearded man with gray-blue eyes was reading to her. The little stone house resounded under the words of the man. And she asked:

- But how can I know? It is too hard!- You'll know, one day. But you can always choose. One never undergoes one's destiny. We decide it. These are your choices that will do what you will be.

- My choices ... what does that mean, dad?

- One day you will understand, said the man, passing his hand through her hair. Let's go join mom.

- Yes, yes, cried the girl, as she got up and went to open the door.

A blinding light engulfed the little house and Rey opened her eyes.

She was back in the ship, and Poe was still sleeping on her bunk, a trickle of drool running slowly down his cheek.