Dawn of a new Force

Chapter 18 - Confrontations.

Maz was easy to find for her friends. They joined her after a few hours of walking in the forest. Maz listened to them telling the story of recent events. She offered to rest for some time, sheltered in the unregistered underground of her refuge, underground she knew for over a thousand years. Chewbacca left quickly, taking with him BB-8. Finn, Poe and she had a snack. Rey promised Finn to talk to her the next day, but for now, she wanted to have a conversation with Poe. Finn nodded, his eyes dark, but he soon left the other two.

Poe leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and raised his chin in defiance. Rey would never have thought to be so bad.

- Listen Poe ... I'm sorry.

- I see it. And I do not understand! It's you who came to me, then you push me away!

Rey was wringing her hands.

- I know, and you have every reason to blame me. I'm so sorry, I do not know what took me ... I'd like to go back and that does not happen.

Poe leaned over and took her hands. Rey looked up.

- Me no! I thought ... I thought you understood, that's all.

- Understood what? she asked, frowning.

- Understand what I can feel for you! We are the same, you and me! Stubborn, adventurers, a little crazy I think. And you are ... well, I do not want to make you feel uncomfortable ...*

Rey was red peony and could not have been more uncomfortable.

- Poe frankly ... for someone who does not want to make me feel uncomfortable...

- Rey, are not you attracted to me? he asked blankly.

Rey paused. She loved Poe, and the shared moments of life, of despair, of survival, had brought them a little closer together. But there was only Ben for her. On the other side, Ben was dead ... or not. Her heart was swaying, but she was not ready to give it to anyone yet.

- I ... I do not want to answer that, she concludes.

Poe dropped his hands.

- I have never forced a girl, and I will never do it. But I'll be there, if you decide. In the meantime, he noted, never do that again. The next time we kiss, I do not want to be forced to hide.

And with these words, he got up to go and rest in an annexed dormitory. Rey was trying to calm her breathing, quick and jerky. She had never been offered such a proposition, and never so directly. She was hot, she had to walk.

She left to walk in the dark stone corridors. She could not stop the tears streaming down her cheeks. She hated herself, she hated herself for putting everyone at risk, being so weak against Kylo. To still have hope to find Ben. To have betrayed Poe. To lie ... She felt anger overflowing her again, and she bit her lip to keep from screaming. She needed to let out that anger, she could not resist it. She hit the wall with her right fist, then dropped to the ground, her knuckles bleeding.

- Rey, my child ... let me see that, she heard behind her.

She looked up and saw Maz coming towards her. She would have sworn to be alone the moment before. 

- I hate myself, Maz. I feel so lonely. I need to know! She wept. 

Maz took Rey's shoulders and let her cry for long minutes. When Rey had calmed down, Maz looked at her, holding her chin. 

- Rey ... I know why you wanted to come here. I knew that day will come. But are you sure you're ready to hear what I have to say to you? 

Rey acquiesced.