Words of the Broken and the Lover

Tell me that you Love me Anyway

Written on: June 22, 2018

There is a dream that came out of nowhere
It’s where all the letters in the alphabet goes missing
          but I got no care as long as the letter
            of your first name stays.
           but then again, like with all the
            missing letters, I hope my name find
            its way to you.

Every second of an hour
          I think how my five fingers had hold
            yours.
            I knew that I won’t be one of your
            choice but still I would love to be
            better for the sake of ours
            but if not at least I’m better that I
            have ever been.

Every hour of the month.
           There is a wonder that I would love to
            have that borrowed time
            where I could be the one for you even
            for a moment or until the right
            person comes
          and if that person did then you are
            longer free to tolerate me.

Seven days a week
          I’m filled with wounds that have left a
            marked in my skin that tells a
            thousand stories of pain
            and every day the sun shines only to
            mock the situation I am in so in the
            shadows I have hid
            but to you and to your friends I never
            did.

Every month of the year
          There is always another cliché
            tragedy within me but that is my
            reality.
            I do not know how much I should tell
            you but to summarize
            – it’s just another moment of slowly
            walking on the dried leaves and
            realizing that I am the dried
            leaves.

The sound it makes is satisfying to one’s ears
but not knowing that it’s screaming for help…
begging not to be stepped…
begging for it to stop.

And every tick of the clock
            there is just no moment when such
            thoughts stopped going inside my
            mind.
But there were things and people that made it fall into silence
             and of course, one of them is you.

Three hundred sixty-five days.
There are one hundred eighty-six left within the year
          and it’s filled with hope for a chance
           to let me in your heart.
It’s filled with promises that I won’t be that messed up.

I know and I’m going to make sure that I will be enough for you; if ever you have decided to let me into your life and into your heart.
But if not then won’t you tell me that you love me, anyway?
I don’t care what kind of love you are saying because that is truly enough for me
        and if that’s a lie then it’s the most
          beautiful form of lie I have ever heard.

Why would that be enough for me?
Because that’s just how my feelings are for you.
Tell me you love me and stay
         I’ll take it as we’re just an
         acquaintance, friends or more

Tell me you love me and leave
       then I’ll still be grateful and a promise
         that I will pray that you will have the
         best of life
         because that is what I would be doing
         to have a great life with or without you.
If people think that this is weird then maybe I am but that’s just how my feeling are for you and that is just how your choice are.

And I love you more than enough to respect whatever decision you make
       and as long as it comes from you
       then I won’t have any problem dealing
        with it.
because life is not all rainbows and butterflies.

But then again I couldn’t remember
when was the last time it became so kind to me
but I guess it was when we met
and made things a little bit brighter than ever.

So won't you tell me you love me, anyway?
So we can either start something or end whatever this is.