Run Tha Streetz k.p

thirty five

Alizé

I sat in what use to be our bed crying my eyes out. After all the fiasco that happened that night I packed up my things from my brothers' house and came back to Keith and I's. Some family members didn't think it was a good idea, so Keith's family, my mom, and Donte are staying with me making sure I don't do any self harm to myself. I think the baby knows that Keith is gone because he's been kicking like crazy. All it does is make me cry even more. Ruiz hasn't found any leads yet to who has killed Keith, but he's working on it. I know he's really trying because I visit him the other day and he had a whole set from board with the pins and yarn. I got to meet him family and his grandmother fed me until the baby started kicking when I put more rice and beans on my plate. He said he promised Keith that he would help him with anything after he left, so I decided on making him one of the godfathers, Donte is the other one. It's just hard you know....losing somebody you love. When my dad died I really didn't understand because I was so young and didn't mourn like I am now.

My head laid on his pillow as I cried watching The Wayans Bros. This was his favorite show. His pillow still smells like him and I high it closer to my body. I hear knocking at the door and I quickly wipe my tears away.

" Come in."

My mom and Ms. Jennifer come in and smile lightly at me.

" Baby there are some people here to see you."

" Tell them to go home, I'm not in the mood to see anybody right now."

" Now I'm not about to go home when we've drove all this way to see you."

My head snaps up and I see Felecia and Latoya standing in my doorway. They walk over to the bed and give me big hugs. I smile as I look at my best friends that I haven't seen in forever.

" We heard what happened and wanted to stop by to see if you're ok ", Felecia said.

I notice that they were in those tacky button ups Lonzo made us wear, so they must be on lunch.

" I'm fine, just taking it one step at a time."

" How's the baby ", Toya rubbed my belly.

" He's doing ok, hell be here on a few days."

" Are you excited?"

" No."

They both quiet down and look down. We talk some more and they leave to go back to work. Skylar came into my room to watch a movie with me and ended up falling asleep. Ms. Jennifer comes into the room and looks relieved to have find Skylar.

" I almost turned this house upside down looking for this little girl. Was she bothering you?"

" No ma'am she was keeping me company ", I smile.

I pull the covers up to cover more of her body and kiss her temple. Ms. Jennifer smiles at me sitting at the foot of my bed.

" You are going to be a fabulous mother to my grandson."

I smile at her and fan away the waterworks that were about to come. Ms.  Jennifer feels like it is her duty to take care if me since Keith isn't here. I tell her she doesn't have to, but she doesn't listen to me. She wanted to throw a baby shower, but I shut that idea down. One, I already have everything my son will need, two, it would just make me sad because Keith won't be by my side to celebrate and enjoy a moment like that.

" I remember the day Keith told me you were pregnant, I was so excited. Then he told me the gender I was even more happy. Keith said he always wanted a son so he could teach him how to play football. That boy loved football so much ", she hiccuped.

I could see the tears fall from her face onto her lap. I remove the covers off of me and walk to where Ms. Jennifer was sitting at. I will never feel the pain that she was feeling at this time. I lost my boyfriend, but she lost her son. Somebody who she carried in her stomach, raised him, and guide him through his journey in life. I bring her into a hug crying into her shoulder.

" Thank you."

She smiles at me and leaves my room.

~ ~ ~

I sat in Keith's old childhood room as I flatten out my dress. I look at myself in the mirror putting my hands around my belly. Today is the day of his funeral and I'm not looking forward to it. I grab my coat and phone and walk down the stairs. Everyone was waiting for me outside already in the limo. I walk down the porch steps causing Kevin and Mr. Powers to run up to help me. Keith's father got out of prison just in time for the funeral. He wasn't taking his son's death that easy either. I got in and rest my head against the window. I can feel everyone looking at me, so I close my eyes eyes to get a nap in before this funeral.

~ ~ ~

When we got there, the casket was closed because Ms. Jennifer wouldn't be able to handle herself if she saw Keith. Everyone looked at me with sorrow asking me if I was ok, how is the baby, how do I feel, etc. I got to meet some more of Keith's family which was good. I make my way to the front row sitting down. I looked down at the program and cried when I saw it was the picture of Keith and I on one of our dates. I pull out tissues from my coat jacket and prepare my self for this.

Kevin went up there and gave the eulogy. It made me smile when he told all the stories of how bad Keith was as a child. I just hope Rakim is not like that. What stuck out to me the most was when he said, " It was no secret to the family that Keith was a drug dealer, it really didn't matter to us because we love him. He always put family first and took care of anyone who needed help. Noe it is our time to take care of Alizé and the son that her and Keith are bringing into this world."

By now my mascara was running down my face and I was looking like a raccoon. I don't care how I look at the moment, my boyfriend just died and I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't be able to do parenthood alone.

~ ~ ~

After the burial, everyone cane back to the  Powers household to eat. I was sitting at the table eating everything Ms. Jennifer cooked. Donte sat on the chair next to me smiling.

" How are you doing?"

" I'm alright, you?"

" I'm ok ", he shrugs his shoulders.

We eat in silence, but I got an when I feel a pain in my stomach. Getting up I feel a liquid running down my legs and hit the floor.

" MS.  JENNIFER ", Donte scream running out of the dining room.

Keith mom, my mom, and his father come in and help me into the car. Out of all days, he had to come now. I do my breathing as I sat in the back seat as Donte sat next to me. Ms. Jennifer drives off making our way to hospital, so I can push out little Rakim.