joji miller imagines

a mistake

tw ; mentions of past abusive relationships

your pov

you didn't expect that past relationships would have affected your future relationships in so many ways.

your life changes after an abusive relationship, the way you think, act and talk is all changed.

it started off good, you quickly fell for Jake. it was great in the beginning, presents and cute kisses, you two were in love with eachother.

then, one night it all went down hill, and he hit you.

but he said it was a mistake, he said he loved you, and you believed him.

then the started yelling, which was fine, that was tolerable, but then he started hitting you.

but he always apologized after, and then cried, because he couldn't lose you, and he always mangled to get you back.

then you decided to run away, and never look back, which was the best decisions of your life.

you had learned to love yourself again, slowly but surely, you learned to love every curve, bruise and mark that was on your body.

you wanted to be slow with your next relationship and didn't really want one at all, then you met joji, and all you could think was oh no.

it started with friends, and coffee dates, and movie nights, and a person to talk to, and then somewhere along the way you fell in love with him, and he did the same with you.

he was okay with how you wanted to take the relationship slow because you were scared.

he was okay with you waking up with nightmares at 2am, and he would kiss you, and sing you back to sleep, and he was understanding when you would freak out, and deny his love.

he was okay with it all, because he loved you, and you loved him too.

-

but currently you were backed up into your bedroom wall, you and joji were having a heated argument.

it was a stupid argument and now, you felt yourself shrinking into the wall, it was a stupid habit, a habit you had thought you had dropped.

his fists were clenched, and his face was red from yelling, your heart beat fast in your chest, because you knew how arguments like this ended, and what happened when people raised their voices.

you hated that in the light of the night, joji looked exactly like him.

his hair was messy on his head, and his eyes looked dark, they looked exactly like his did, before he hurt you.

joji took another step towards you, and you were scared for your life, deep down you know joji would never hurt you, but you couldn't help yourself feeling the way you did.

"please don't hit me" you whimpered, so softly you expected joji to not even hear what you said, but he did.

immediately, his eyes lost their darkness, and he realized what was happening, and what he had done.

all he saw was you backed up against a wall, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes, and your fists clenched in defence, your body still shaking.

and he had realized what he had done.

"oh my god, y/n. i'm so sorry, oh my god, i didn't mean it, fuck, i would never hurt you, i'm so sorry" he spit out quickly.

you sank down to the floor, still in shock as to what happened.

"baby, i'm so sorry" he pleaded. that's exactly what jake said.

"i feel so horrible, i would never hurt you! jesus, i'm so sorry!" he rambled on.

"i'm so sorry! i would never lay a finger on you! i'm sorry i made you feel like that" he cried, he looked like he was actually on the verge of tears, and you were too.

"i love you!" he insisted. that's what he said too.

he pulled you into a hug, but you quickly froze and tried to protect yourself, which was also habit.

seeing you like this broke jojis heart, "y/n, i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to, you gotta believe me" he begged, holding you in his arms, tightly.

you managed to take deep breaths, and control your breathing. it had been almost 2 years since you left Jake, and he still made you do things like this.

"i b-believe you" you stuttered out. tears rolling down your cheeks. "i love you" joji whispered into your shoulder, "i love you too" you whispered back.

kinda dark n sad, sorry :/

hope u enjoy

all the love, xx

-L.L