Her last letter to Earth

1

VENUS

I was just staring at the white ceiling of my bedroom.

Masyado ng maraming nangyari ngayong araw na'to, and I'm too tired to move nor think and feel the pain.

Matagal na nang nalaman namin ni papa na may sakit na cancer si mama, pero we had never expected na babawiin siya sa amin ng mas maaga.

"I'm sorry Mr. Argel. I have to be honest with you. The cancer cells are already spreading in your wife's body." Nanlumo namang nakikinig si papa sa sinabi ng doctor.

There are signs. But we cannot see it or should I say we refused to see it. Until doom's happen.

I miss my mom already, but I can't do anything about it.

Sabi nila, death is inevitable but hindi pa ring maiiwasan na masaktan ka kapag may nawalang special sa buhay mo. I guess experiencing too much pain is still part of our lives.

Narinig ko ang mahinang katok sa pinto ng aking kwarto. I know it's papa but I never bothered to answer. I thought umalis na siya pero pumasok pala siya ng dahan dahan sa loob ng aking kwarto.

I look at him. He's a mess. Malayong malayo na ang hitsura niya sa papang nakilala ko.

Nang nalaman namin ang tungkol sa sakit ni mamang, it's like everything had crushed upon him. Nawala ang mapagbiro niyang aura but he still manage to smile for me, for my mother.

But when we lost her, enough with the pretense.

" nak, nandiyan na si mama mo" mahina, may pait na pagkasabi nito.

I nod my head to him. As if getting what I mean, lumabas na si papang sa aking kwarto. I remain in my bed. I hear people downstairs, talking and mourning. Magsisimula ang lamay ngayong gabi para kay mamang.

Remembering my father's eyes ay parang umiyak ito buong araw. But me, I have never shed a single tear. Maybe my eyes are too tired o hindi pa lang talaga na poproseso ng utak ko na wala na si mamang. As if my brain keeps on blocking the pain to register in my system.

I feel empty inside kaya napagpasyahan kong bumangon na lamang. I walk past the stairs and saw some lights from the candles and the coffin where my mamang lay cold but painless.

Hindi na ako nag abala pang bumaba. I'm not ready to face the sympathy of those people. Instead, dumiretso ako sa dulong kwarto. The small room na katatapos lamang naipagawa para gawing music room.

My mother loves music. Dito siya laging tumatambay kapag tapos na siya sa mga gawaing bahay. She loves the piano the most.

The door creak as I enter. The piano lay silent in the middle of the room. Na para bang alam din nito ang nangyari sa kanyang may ari. I slowly cross the room and sat infront of the piano. My hand reach for it and feel the coldness of it in my palm. It's cold but sents warm inside me. It's comforting actually. Then memories of my mama suddenly came to mind.

She plays the piano while I sat beside her when I was just a kid. I remember how she smile teaching me some notes on the keyboard. I remember the little me who refuses to learn. I don't want to play the piano but I love listening to it which I regret now. I should have let my mama teach me.

Around the music room stood shelves of my mamang's favorite books. I roam my eyes and something caught up my attention. Tumayo ako na hindi tinatanggal ang paningin sa bagay na aking nakita. As i drew closer, I realize that it's a small treasure box.

Then a fragment of memory flashes through me.

"Ma?" I peak my head at the open door and find my mama standing facing her back on me.