Fix Me (Sequel to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 12

(Justin's pov)
–Justin's dream–
"Justin, can you take the trash out?" Dad asks from the kitchen.
"Yeah," I haul the trash bag over my shoulder, then step outside. After I shut the trash can, I walk back inside.
"Boo!" Jaxon jumps in front of me, looking happy and cheerful. I immediately put my guard up.
"Ah, you scared me there, buddy," I press my hand to my chest before lifting him up.
"Justin, can you tuck me in tonight?" Jazzy's voice is soft and gentle coming from the front porch.
"Sure baby," I take her tiny hand as Jaxon sits on my shoulders. Once we're in their rooms, I tuck Jazzy and Jaxon in bed.
"Justin?" Jaxon calls out to me.
"Yeah," I turn around and lean closer to him.
"Do you think that one day I'll be the king of the world?" Jaxon smiles sleepily.
"Of course, buddy, you just gotta believe in yourself. And if you believe hard enough, you'll be the king of the whole universe!" I exclaim, making Jaxon grin happily.
"Really?!" he claps his hands in excitement.
"Yeah!" I chuckle before kissing his head.
"What about me, Justin?" Jazzy pouts under her pink bedspread.
"Aw, I'll never forget about you, baby. You're my little princess," I kiss her head too.
"We love you, Justin," they both smile as I approach the doorway.
"Love you too," I smile and close the door.
"You're such a good brother," Mom's standing by my bedroom door, a warm smile across her face.
"I guess," I merely shrug, and I know I'm far from being a good brother. I've gotten myself into some deep shit. Gang issues.
"You need to pull up those pants though," she chuckles, and so do I.
"I'll try." I know I won't though. It's not like I can just leave the gang. Khalil and Za need me. And Rico's looking for trouble.
"Come here," Mom hugs me tightly, and I hug her back.
"I love you so so much," she whispers in the hug.
"I love you too, Mom," I whisper back, holding her close.
"Now, get some rest. You look tired," she kisses my cheek before walking away.
"Ok," I smile and head into my bedroom.
-End of Justin's dream-

I shoot up, breathing hard, feeling a hole in my chest. I feel loneliness and sadness inside me. My eyes lock on the wall in front of me.
"Justin, are you ok?" A soft voice asks me. It's Christie.
"Yeah, just a dream," I lie back down, calming my breathing.
"Was it bad?" Her head rests on my chest, and serenity washes over me.
"No, it was good...I don't know. Let's go back to sleep," I hold her close, so we can both go back to sleep.
"Ok," she breathes out; then everything falls quiet again.

-9am-
I didn't get any sleep after the dream I had last night. It makes me wish my family was still here. I miss them so badly. I haven't made a big deal about it since they died. My family is a forbidden topic. Nobody speaks of them unless they want a bullet in their head.
"Justin, is everything ok?" Christie lightly touches my shoulder.
"Yeah baby, let's go get breakfast," I grasp her hand.
"Hold on. Justin, I need to use the bathroom real quick," she breaks away from my handhold to head over to the bathroom.
"Ok, I'll be waiting outside for you, babe," I tell her before the door shuts. I take this time to open the bottle of pills in my drawer. I pop some painkillers, then close the drawer shut. Today I feel real shitty. I mean, I feel everything but happy. It's like I'm sad, lonely, worried, and angry at the same time. But no worries. That's what the pills are for.
I wait by the door for Christie. Impatiently I wait for the pills to start to kick in. I crave that numb sensation, devoid of any emotion. Christie soon walks out and slips her hand in mine.

(Christie's pov)
I walk with Justin down the sidewalk leading downtown. He seems so tired yet it's like he's contemplating something. Is he ok?
"Justin," I turn to him, but he doesn't notice. He's not even affected.
"Justin," I finally stop to nudge him on the arm.
"What?" he keeps on walking, mumbling flatly. I wonder what's going on in his complicated mind.
"Where are we going?"
"McDonald's." His voice is so dry and empty. What's going on with him?
"But...We just passed McDonald's," I timidly point out; then he stops, sighs, then turns around. Did I do something? In case I did, I don't say anything else, because he seems upset.
"Order," Justin mumbles flatly. That's weird. He always orders for me. I don't mind ordering for myself. It's just the way he said it, so indifferently. Standing at the counter, I order a parfait, then quietly stand by him as we wait for our orders. Neither of us say anything except when our orders are done. Justin doesn't speak, and he barely eats or drinks anything. Something's bothering him, and it bothers me.
"Are you ready?" I ask him as I stare out the window.
"...Yeah," Justin stands up and walks out the door, ignoring me. What did I do? Is he mad at me? We walk down the sidewalk again. I don't know where we're going. All I know is that Justin's ignoring me. Why?

"Justin," I finally stop walking, but he proceeds, pulling me with him, making me stumble a bit.
"Justin," I call out louder, now standing in front of him. Justin stops. I notice his eyes are surprisingly dark, causing me to stand speechlessly.
"Are-are you ok, Justin?" I stutter, because I'm not sure if I know the person standing before me.
"Yeah." His hollow eyes lower to meet mine.
"How come you're acting like this? Was it the dream you had last night?" I cautiously touch his shoulder; then he viciously rubs his face. His eyes turn back to normal and his expression involves more eye contact.
"Oh...no, baby. I'm just tired," Justin pulls me close, but I'm still so confused.
"Justin?" I stare into his eyes.
"Hmm?" His hands calmly hold my waist.
"What happened in your dream last night?"
"...Nothing. Let's go get some ice cream or something." He's avoiding my question. I want to know so I can help him. I need to help him in some way. But it's obvious he doesn't want it.

-4pm-
We just walked into the condo, where Khalil, Za and Ryan are watching tv. Justin keeps acting weird. I feel like I did something wrong. Justin's been ignoring me a lot and it hurts. I have to know why he was acting like this. He's hiding something from me. It's not fair to both of us.

"Justin," I nudge him again to get his attention.
"Yeah?" he pauses once we're in our room.
"Did I do something?" Insecurely, I play with my sleeves to avoid eye contact.
"No, why would you think that?" he asks flatly while peeling off his shirt.
"It's just...you've kinda...been...ignoring me a lot," I lower my voice to a whisper. I'm afraid of his reaction. In response, he just stands still, then sighs deeply.
"...Baby, you didn't do anything wrong," Justin whispers too. I guess pain is contagious.
"Then, why are you—"
"You didn't do anything," he repeats in a louder, more rigid tone.
"...Justin?" I speak softly, staring worriedly at him.
"Hmm?" His eyes lock on mine, but I don't feel a valid connection.
"What happened...in your dream?" I'm nervous, every piece of me. Justin frozen and quiet.

"My family," he breathes out, looking straight into my eyes. I can see him tearing up. Oh no.
"They were alive...in my dream...happy," he swallows hard, and I regret ever asking him. Justin rarely cries, and for him to do so means that I made things too personal.
"...I miss them," he whispers. A tear slips down his cheek, so I immediately hug him tight.
"I'm so sorry, Justin." Instinctively, I start to cry too as he shakes softly, holding me close to his chest.
"I love you, Christie," he eventually stops crying yet keeps me close.
"I love you too, Justin," I calm down, then pull away once his breaths are faint.
"I'm tired," I mumble as I run a hand through my hair.
"Yeah, me too," he takes a sharp breath before standing up and drying his face. We both use the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Once the lights are out, we lie in bed next to each other, and I shut my eyes against his hot skin.
"Are we both ok?" I whisper in his neck, basking in our closeness.
"Yeah babe," Justin kisses my head before everything returns to calm state.

(A/N: I've been obsessing over Dylan O'Brien lately. I watched all his movies😍😍😍 And Justin's hair is on point 👍🏼👌🏼It's been so nice not having to do anything during break, but now it's all over😢😒😤 Next post is Out of Control on Wednesday/Thursday. Enjoy your week!)