Blue Flames //Divergent Fanfic//

Back Scars

Chapter 12:

Tobias' Perspective

    I crawl into bed next to Tris, thinking about what Natalie said. "You are sooo deep in thought!" says Tris. She's in one of my black t-shirts and no pants. The shirt goes down just above her knees.

She is sitting on top of the sheets and smirks. "How?" I say. "You're biting your lip, and your eye brows are all scrunched up."  I automatically stop that. "No! Don't stop! It looks cute!" she says. I laugh and adjust my pillow to sit up. I bite my lip again, but not because Tris thinks it looks cute, because I'm still thinking about what Natalie said. 

Were you happy as a child? Her soft, but strong voice rings in my head. "Okay, what's wrong?" Tris says as she lays her head in my lap. "Nothing." I say. She grabs my face and pulls it towards her. I'm thinking she's gonna kiss me, but she stops when our noses touch.

    "Natalie said something. That's why you're so paranoid." she says. She just brushed her teeth and I smell minty cookies. Minty cookies? She ate some cookies after she brushed her teeth. I smile. "I am not paranoid." I say.

    "You are also stubborn." she says her voice getting softer. I lean in closer, and kiss her. I taste cookies. I laugh against her lips. She pulls away and sits up. "What?" she says. "I tasted cookies!" I say. She laughs and pulls me to her lips.

    "What's wrong?" she says pulling away. "Okay, fine! Natalie did say something!" I say. "What did she say?" she says. I sigh and sit up straighter.

Then I realize that I have no pants on. I get up and walk to the dresser. "She just asked me if I was happy as a child." I say pulling out a pair of black pajama bottoms. "Did you tell her?" she says sitting on the edge of the bed.

    "Not about Marcus, I just said I'd rather him answer that question." I say pulling my leg through the pant leg. "Why don't you tell her?" she says. I pull my other leg in and sit on the bed next to her. "I don't want to tell her that I was beaten as a child. She'd never look at me the same." I say.

    "You pulled me into your fear landscape as a way to tell me. I still love you." she says taking my arm and leaning on my shoulder. "That was different. I liked you, and that was the only way I could think of telling you my real name. Marcus was just a plus at telling you." I say. "Maybe she would understand. She's very understanding." she says her grip on my arm loosening.

    "So you're saying I should take her through my fear landscape?" I say. She runs her fingers up my arm and rests her hand on my shoulder. "No, that's your choice. You could verbally tell her, or have her face your fears for you." she says.

    "I wouldn't want her facing them for me. I don't just want to stand in the side lines watching my fears become hers. Oh! I forgot, Marcus isn't in my fear landscape anymore. It's been replaced with you two dying. If I was her, I wouldn't want to watch my Mom die." I say. "Then show her the scars on your back." she says.

    "That would just be awkward." I say. "No, she's your daughter. She's another part of you." she says. "So, I'm gonna show her my back?" I say. That would be kind of weird. I wouldn't want her to see me as some punching bag.

    "She's looked up to you her whole life. I seriously doubt a few scars are gonna get in her way." she says. "I know, but I just don't want her to see me as a beaten slab of meat." I say. She lets go of me and stands in front of me. She grabs me by the shoulders and gets in my face. "Don't you ever say that again! You are NOT some beaten slab of meat! You are much better than that! You can't just let some scars judge who you are! You are an amazing person!!! Don't let your background get in your way! I can't believe you think of yourself like that!" she yells.