G1rl Under Management

[35]: Why Quit?

  Author's Note:

Listen to this song at the exact moment ;)

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"Yes, my heart wants what it wants. But what about me?"

- Rue Canders. 💕

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{RILEY'S POV}

I guess everything you inherit comes from a lie. The more you see to it, the worse things get. I'm not poetic nor justice, you couldn't call me that if your life depended on it.

I start off smiling and in the end, I'm smiling for no complete reason, pfft I'm not even happy. Do you think I'm a case fit for your fucking pocket? That I'm supposed to follow your every move and do things no human would want to accomplish?

NO. You're a complete, diplomatic fool. Only words I'm fit for being is sarcastic and rude, and yet I still manage to live a lie. I blame it on my parents, lie after lie and I still haven't got one clue on my life. What am I still here for?

Then again I'm brought here for a million reasons, some reasons may vary. The instant I rap myself in more lies, the people who sought to care burned in my very hatred.

Do you really think a therapist or any classes will help the fact that I'm a basic no-brainer? I'm helpless all the time. I feel like I'm standing on a stage for people that don't even like me. They just stand there to taunt me and throw rocks, booing me at every chance they get.

Change, aren't you tired of it? I am. I'm tired of locking my feelings in an unsafe cage, tired of seeing myself hurt. Also tired of lying, tired of making myself cry and begging for a new scene to switch to.

Today will be irritating. I know this because I'm finally returning from my unnecessary vacation and going back to anger class, don't get me wrong. Gothy will be there to cheer me up oh and Blake, but my concerns lead to way worse problems. I remember my horrible stamina at school just a few hours ago and I can't say that I don't regret it.

I took the bus to my class and managed to fix my thoughts even though all I could think about was Ryan's face, it has nothing to do with my unsteadiness, it has everything to do with the fact that I finally hurt him. The self-absorbed jerk himself felt used, everything I said to him seemed unreal except it was. I leap to my feet as the bus makes a stop toward a big brown building.

"Thanks," I say flatly.

"Have a good day." The bus driver speaks back as he closes the bus doors. I quickly but quietly walk toward the tall building, my movement very uneasy. My eyes start to sting from spring weather- the air crisp but almost wet.

I walk in the building and frown unhappily, the Secretary sits there with a pathetic smile, her blonde waves heaving at the top of her head; she speaks with a steady smile.

"Hey Riley, they're in there waiting. Might wanna hurry!" Patricia tells me.

"Thanks, lady." I roll my eyes and shift to the back of the building where our class is held.

"Maybe we should call her, to see if she's.. oh Riley hey!" Blake speaks to me as if I went missing, he walks over to me and hugs me. I hug him back to feel the final warmth of his embrace.