G1rl Under Management

[36]: O C D

"When I mess up, I only think about how I did it wrong."

- Rue Canders. 🤞💖

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{RILEY'S POV}

Saturday morning, I woke up with a frown. A migraine I had awoken with didn't vanish and thoughts about Ryan kept scurrying in my head.

I quietly got out of Dina's bed and fled with my things, it felt wrong for me to just leave, I felt as if I were some whore a guy slept with and woke up the next day, then just left with my clothing.

No breakfast, no goodbye kiss. Just humiliation.

I quickly put my regular clothes on and fished for my shoes off the floor, quietly speed walking to the bathroom and to brush back my hair and brush my teeth. Don't worry, I didn't use her toothbrush, she had extras.

Running down the steps I balanced myself for a quick embrace to the creaky living room floor. My feet crept against the hardwood flooring, sounds of shushes and shame fled from me as I opened the door, I shut it behind me while closing my eyes. Dina is my kind of, almost best friend and I bailed on her just for my anxiety.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I called for an Uber and waited by the curb for it to come, sure enough, thirteen minutes later I was home free. Except where was I going to go? Back to Ryan's? I want to flee back to my parent-less house but there's nothing there for me, I'll die on my own.

But if that's what I have to endure then I'm willing to go for it.

My Uber driver was quiet, he didn't turn to say good morning to me or anything, silence filled the SUV as he drove. It made me think of all the times I ignored Ryan; if I weren't so foolish none of this would've never happened. I would've never slept with him and he wouldn't have said he loved me.

Desperation though, it always gets the best of us.

My driver speeds down the streets with no care, he turns down another block and here I am, face to face with Ryan's house. I wonder if he's been up all night worrying about me, rest assure for him I've probably been thinking of the same thing. He doesn't know that I care, and I want to keep it like that.

I ease out of the car and slowly walk up to his front door, the doorbell tastefully staring at me to go ahead and push it, I can't  I've been more than a demon, I'm a monster.

I knock with little thumps, my knuckles graze against the door not even a second when Ryan answers.

My point taken, he has been worried, he's been sitting in that very chair.

"Nice to see you join my side of the world." He speaks hurtfully, his breath hitching at high motions.

"Were you literally waiting there for me?" I throw my stuff onto the ground and point to the burgundy loveseat that sits midway of the window, I can see his butt marks staining the chair.

"I like to look at my surroundings sometimes, am I a villain for doing so?" Ryan walks over to the coffee table that sits in the middle of the semi-living room.