Living in Paradise (A One Direction Fanfic)

23. Lose My Mind [Harry/Niall's POV]

Harry's POV

I watched her run away from me, a look of utter betrayal and hurt on her face. The only thing that pained me was knowing the fact that I was the one causing her pain. I was supposed to love her and protect her, not hurt her. I stood there dumbstruck as she ran from me.

"I told you this would happen!" Niall yelled at me before his fist connected with my stomach. His left hand came around and punched me in the face. I didn't even hit him back, just sat there, completely dumbstruck.

I heard footsteps running up the stairs and suddenly Niall was pulled off me. I saw Zayn and Liam holding him back. Then Louis was in front of my face.

"What did you do, Haz?" he asked me quietly.

Niall was still cursing at me and screaming out a bunch of profanities but I didn't even register it.

"I hurt her." I heard myself muttering to Lou. "I hurt her."

Louis sighed before pulling me to my feet. Caleb and Cameron were also there now and they were both struggling to get their hands on me, but Liam, Zayn, Perrie, Dani and Eleanor held them back.

"Come on." Louis dragged me into the bedroom and shut the door. He turned to face me. "What did you do?"

I didn't speak, only stared into empty space. Louis snapped his fingers in front of my face impatiently. I opened my mouth and started explaining the entire situation to him in a monotone voice. It was too much effort to speak right now.

"A few months back, Management came and told me that I needed to clean up my act. They said there was a lot of bad press with me being connected to ladies such as Caroline Flack. Then, they told me to get into a relationship with the lead singer of the band Paradise Falls. They told me she was a decent girl and it would help stable my relationship rumours a little. I agreed to it because I didn't want anything to happen to One Direction on my account. When I met Kieran, I didn't even give her a second thought. I just knew that I had to date her for the sake of the band and my image. Then I found out she was more than decent. She was an extraordinary girl and I really began to fall for her. But I couldn't help it with the guilty thoughts and kept thinking I was only with her because of what Management told me to do. Then I got a call a couple of weeks back, telling me to break up with her, that she had done the deed. The rumours of me hooking up with the older ladies had died down but the fans were upset I was no longer single. And in this industry, the fans meant everything. So Management told me to break it off with Kieran. And I almost did. I didn't call her or speak to her ever since the tour ended until now. But I hadn't actually ended it with Kieran. We weren't physically together but we were still together since no break up was announced."

I stopped speaking and took a breath.

"Go on," Louis prompted me.

"I had told her I loved her right before the tour finished. I don't know if I even meant it then or whether or not she heard me, but I did develop feelings for her. However, Management wanted me to be single again as it would help the band. It was easier pretending I didn't have feelings for her when she wasn't around me. When we came back to America, and I saw her again, I remembered just how much I cared about her. Kieran was just some stupid girl I was supposed to use, she was my girlfriend and I was pissed at myself for having ignored her those few weeks." I shook my head, once again realizing how stupid I was. "We fell back into the same patterns and I fell for her all over again. She is such a lovely, wonderful person and I was lucky to even be near her. Earlier, I was on the phone with Management, telling them I was done with this. That I didn't care what the fans thought and that I actually had feelings for Kieran. I wanted to be with her, for real. She overheard the conversation and ran off, leaving me here."