13 reasons Why Not

Chapter 1 - The morning after the tapes

Clays POV

Another day, not that I've slept at all.

Since listening to Hannah's tapes, life's not been the same.... nothing has.

Laying here, wishing I had the chance to see her one more time. To have the chance to show her my true feelings... make her understand that she was loved.

I can remember us sitting on the roof of the Crestmont so well, how beautiful she looked in the moonlight,  how cute she was shuffling towards me.

The moment our eyes locked, the first time we both really connected...

"I was so stupid! why didn't you tell her how you feel..."

Pushing my pillow over my head, I was so angry with myself. Why couldn't I save her?

"Clay, honey? Who are you taking to?

My mom constantly shocks me with her sensitive hearing, I'm sure she can hear a pin drop.

"No one mom, was just the radio...."

"Ok family breakfast in 10 minutes clay... remember to shower please honey..."

"Ok Mom"

Another Jensen family breakfast, the highlight of every day.

Dragging myself out of bed has never been so hard, shower, breakfast,  school.

Everything felt like a chore, just knowing what the day had in store for me, another day at lovely Liberty High....

Making my way downstairs, I was dreading breakfast.

"wow... mom"

Standing at the breakfast table I reminded myself that only three of us lived here, there was so much food.

I'm not even hungry...

"How long are these banquets going to continue...?"

Hearing my comment, my dad peered over his glasses, engrossed in his book as usual.

"Morning Clay, how are we doing today?"

The fact my dad actually asked was a shock, this whole being there for eachother thing is seriously weird.

" yeah ok, thanks dad"

I really couldnt be bothered with this, there was only one thing on my mind, one person.

Watching my mom entering the room, she was floating around as if everything was great. if only she knew the truth. To my parents, Hannah was someone I worked with at the Crestmont, nothing more.

"How are we feeling today honey? How is your face? You really need to be more careful on you bike."

I smiled, thinking about how I really hurt my face. Knowing what I got Bryce to say, I don't think my mom could handle that truth...

"It's ok mom, seriously."

At that moment I felt my phone vibrate.

1 new message - Tony

T - Hey Clay, how are you holding up?

Tony's been great, he's a real friend.

C - Hey Tony, I'm ok I suppose how about you?

T - I'm ok do you need a lift to school? I have something to give you.

I paused wondering to myself, what would Tony have for me? If anything it's me that needs to give him his Walkman back.