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Chapter 5 - While you were gone.

"Everything changed Hannah nothing was the same, It felt like I wasn't me anymore"

"The morning I got the message saying you had died, it was the worst. I know we hadn't spoken for a while but you were here..."

"Jeff had gone... now you..."

Hannah's POV

I feel so bad for putting him through that, I wasn't thinking. I watched Clay as he continued, it was so painful to watch him relive it all.

"Hannah, I remember that day at school."

"Your locker, flowers... the pictures. People talking everywhere, they didn't even know you."

Clay explained it all so clearly, its like I could picture everything.

"I remember standing there looking at your locker, I stood there praying you would appear. Gazing at the empty chair in class, you were gone."

"I felt lost"

"Clay when I did what I did, I wasn't thinking of how it would affect anyone, you my mom...dad."

"I'm sorry"

I lowered my head, I couldn't look at Clay knowing how much I'd hurt him. When I eventually lifted it, I could feel a tear rolling down my cheek.

I've hurt him so much, I didn't think he cared about me that much. He was the last person I wanted to hurt with this.

"Hannah I'll stop..."

"No Clay, I want to know what happened... Please"

Clay paused making sure I was okay before continuing...

"It went on everyday, Liberty High changed. As we both know it's not the nicest place, but to me it was now cold. Every day I would expect to see you walking the halls, now you were gone"

"Then it changed even more."

I could see Clay's face change, I knew what was coming.

"The tapes?"

He looked at me, I can remember them so clearly... I felt nervous.

"I got them this week, before I received them I had been getting looks. Courtney... Justin... Jess... Zack.... I wondered why, now I knew... they'd listened to the tapes."

"I thought at one point that people wanted to know me, that again was because they knew I would listen to the tapes. The only person that really cared was Tony, he spoke to me and helped me when I listened to the them."

Clays head dropped, the look on his face it killed me.

I felt so sad, he had no one apart from Tony. I can believe they would do that though, I learnt what they're like the hard way.

"Hannah, the night I listened to your tapes... It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Hearing your voice, your story... everything that happened to you it was heart breaking. Why didn't you tell me...?"

"Clay I thought you hated me, everyone hated me."

"I've never hated you Hannah, I never understood. If I'd known I would have done anything to help you, anything"

No matter what Clay said, I could still remember how everyone used to look at me, including him.

"I thought everyone was against me Clay, I saw the way you looked at me when the picture went round"

"Hannah, I was jealous. I wanted to be the one that kissed you... I was sad"

I couldnt believe what Clay said, he was jealous of Justin? I've never seen him look that serious.