Ben's P.O.V
Sam was losing it. Whether or not he wanted to believe it. I had to figure out a way to snap him out of this. He was delusional. Sooner or later he was going to realize Cameron was gone, and I was terrified of what he may do when that happened.
We had one more time to view the bodies before the funeral. Maybe if Sam sees Cameron there, he will come back to us.
I sighed and looked over the living room. Everyone was sleeping. I couldn't explain this chill that came over me.
I took a breath, rubbing my hands up and down my arms. The feeling freaked me out a little bit, but I did my best to ignore it.
It didn't take long for me to notice Matt was nowhere to be found. I quietly made my way through each room. I still couldn't find him.
I glanced outside in the driveway. His car was still parked out front. So, he didn't leave. But where the hell was he?
I grabbed Danny's hoodie and opened the back door slowly, hoping I could sneak outside without waking anyone up.
I shut the door behind me and when I looked up, there was Matt. Leaning against the rail, unaware of my presence.
"Hey." I said softly.
Matt jumped a bit, "Hey Ben."
"What are you doing out here?" I asked, coming to rest against the rail next to Matt.
"Couldn't sleep" He began "And I didn't want to look at Andy and Ashley anymore." He shrugged.
"I'm sorry, Matt. I honestly thought you two were going to be together forever." And I did. We all did. Andy and Matt had been through hell and back together and they fought so hard to be together. Now, they barely talk.
"He wanted to talk to me earlier, but I couldn't do it." He started, looking over at me. "I can't be with him and not be with him. I'm still in love with him." He admitted, tears streaming down his cheeks.
I slipped an arm around him, pulling him close. "I know you are." I said, "Everyone can see it. Ashley sees it too."
Matt raised an eyebrow "How do you know?"
"I overheard him talking to Jake. He said it was obvious you two still cared for each other."
Matt sighed. "Oh well. Nothing we can do about it now. So, how's Sam?"
I shook my head, "The same. We have to go in the morning to view their bodies one more time before the funeral." I started "I'm hoping that will snap him out of this...but, I'm also scared he's not going to be able to handle it."
Matt nodded. "I understand that. It's not going to be easy for him, that's for sure. But, he has all of us here. We'll see him through this."
I nodded, resting my head against Matt's shoulder. "You need to take some time for yourself, Ben. You need to mourn the death of your husband. You're never be able to heal if you don't." He added.
I nodded. "I know" I said softly "I can't worry about me now though. I have to think about Sam. He's the most important one right now."
Matt sighed "I don't think that's right. You're both important, just like James is. You all need time to heal and try to move on from this." He said.
I knew he was right. I hadn't even cried over this. I mean, I had, but not like I should have. I couldn't and wouldn't allow myself to fully break down right now. Not until I got Sam through this.
"Will you at least get some sleep?" Matt asked.
"If you come lay with me." I said.
Matt sighed, but admitted defeat and we headed back inside.
Thankfully, James had anther couch on the other side of the room that no one was laying on. I jumped on the couch, gently tugging Matt down with me.
He took in a deep breath, and I could already feel his body relaxing against mine. I slipped an arm around his waist, and he did the same to me. His eyes seemed to get heavy instantly, and within seconds his breathing had evened out and he was asleep.
I smiled softly and pressed a kiss to his forehead as I let my own eyes close. Tomorrow was going to be hard, and we needed all the rest we could get.
