Sam's P.O.V
The drive to James' house felt like it took hours, when in reality it only took a few minutes.
I didn't really want to be around anyone right now. I had a lot of things I needed to figure out on my own. If I didn't, I knew I would never get through this.
We pulled into the driveway and James turned to look at me. "You feeling okay, mate " He asked.
I nodded. "Just tired." I said softly.
James nodded and slid out of the car. Him and Ben opened my door and helped me out of the car. I couldn't help but laugh softly as they made me wrap my arms around them both, leading me to the front door.
The moment the door opened we were greeted by our friends inside. I offered them all a smile, and hugged them back. But still, I wanted to be alone for a bit.
"I think I'm going to go lay down for a little while. Okay?" I asked.
James nodded "of course. Get some rest, Sam. We'll be here when you get up." He added.
I nodded and headed to the room I had been calling mine since we got here. I sighed and shut the door behind me, leaning against the door.
Cameron was gone. He's been gone for a little while now. So was Danny.
Why was I blocking that out of my head? Why had I still been seeing Cameron as if he were still here?
Was I truly going crazy? Was I so far gone that no one can save me?
There were so many things running through my mind and I was having a hard time processing all of them.
I knew he was gone. I'd know from the moment he took his last breath.
Part of me, a big part of me died right along with him. I wanted to give up. Wanted nothing more than to be with Cameron again. But, I know James and Ben wouldn't let me.
I felt bad for Ben. He was going through the same thing as me, but had to keep it together because I was freaking out. I don't know how he managed to do it for so long.
I sighed and hugged the pillow to my chest, breathing in slowly. It still smelt like Cameron. A small smile graced my lips for a moment.
"I miss you." I said softly, tears slipping down my cheeks.
I let my eyes close slowly, hoping sleep would soon take me.
Ben's P.O.V
The room was silent. No one knew what to say. Truth is, everyone had pretty much been walking on egg shells around me and Sam since we'd came home.
To be honest, it kind of pissed me off. I didn't want them acting different around me.
Yes, I lost the love of my life. Yes, I was slowly dying on the inside... but, I needed them.
I'd spent so much time worrying about Sam, I hadn't really had the time to mourn myself.
I sighed and slowly got up from the couch, turning briefly to look at the others.
"I'm gonna step outside for a bit. I'll be back" I began, shaking my head when James started to get up. "Please, I need to be alone. Just for a few. Okay?" I asked.
James looked defeated but nodding, settling back against the chair.
I nodded and stepped outside, shuttling the door behind me.
Danny was gone. I knew he was gone, but sometimes even now I expect him to walk through the door.
Sometimes late at night I'll reach for him in the bed, and when I realize he's not there, it feels like I'm losing him all over again.
"I can't believe you're gone, baby." I said softly, taking a seat on the last step. "It's not right. You should be here now, Danny!" I said, looking up at the sky.
"Sams not good. He's falling apart and there's nothing James and I can do for him. You'd know what to do. You always knew what to do." I could feel the tears welling in my eyes and I didn't try to fight them. "I miss you so much. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this alone." I cried. Looking down at the ring on my finger.
"We were supposed to grow old together. Supposed to adopt a kid, and settle down. We were going to be the cool grandparents and spoil the hell out of our grandkids and then send them home." I shook my head slowly "now, none of that is going to happen."
The tears started falling quicker now, sobs ripping through my body.
"You should be here. I should be with you. We should be together one way or another. I've considered ending it. Ending it so I can be with you again. I know what you're thinking, you can't leave James and Sam like that. Maybe not, but what good am I to them if I'm not any good to myself?"
I swallowed hard, shaking my head. "Why did you leave me, Danny?! Why?" I screamed. "You fucking left me! How could you leave me?!" I cried.
It wasn't long until the door opened and. I felt arms wrap around me. I knew it was James before I even looked at him.
I didn't say a word, just buried my face in the curve of his neck and cried.
I was falling apart.
