James' P.O.V
Everything has been so crazy since the fire. I haven't really had time to stop and catch my breath.
We've been focusing all of our time on Sam, on making sure he got the help he needed so he didn't try and do something stupid. There hasn't been much time for anything else.
Sam was going to be okay. It would only be a matter of time until he got his full memory back. I wasn't sure how we'd help him through that, but I knew we would.
Sam didn't deserve to be going through this. He didn't. He deserved happiness only. Cameron and him were going to get married one day. They were going to get married and live happily ever after.
Now, Cameron was gone and Sam would have to learn how to live his life without him.
We had no worries that he could do it. Ben and I would see to it that nothing bad happened to him. We couldn't let anything happen. We'd already lost 2, we weren't going to lose anyone else.
The band. I can't tell you how many tweets, dm's and messages we've got about the future of AA.
I know everyone wants to know, but right now, we don't even know for sure. That's the furthest thing from our minds. All we care about is getting through this shit together.
"I'm scared James" he started, looking up at me.
"It's going to be okay, mate. I promise." I said softly. "Ben and I are going to be there for you through it all. You won't have to face this alone." I added.
I sighed and looked down as Ben started to stir. "No. Danny! Please wake up, Danny!"' he screamed.
"Ben, Ben wake up" I said, shaking him lightly.
"Danny! Please don't leave me. I can't do this without you!" He cried, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Ben, wake up! I said a bit louder, shaking him a bit harder this time. "Wake up"
Ben shook his head quickly, his eyes still closed. "No. No. Danny is still in there!"'he cried, swallowing hard.
My heart was breaking. I felt so horrible for Ben and Sam. All I wanted to do was help them through this.
"Ben? Wake up bro. It's a bad dream, okay?"'Sam started, "none of this is real."
After what felt like hours had passed Ben finally began to stir.
Ben's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at Sam and I, swallowing hard. "Sam. You're awake." He said softly, forcing a smile.
Sam nodded. "I am. Are you okay?" He asked softly.
Ben nodded, laughing nervously "Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a fucking crazy dream last night is all." He stretched a bit, standing up from his seat "So, any word yet on when they're letting you out of here?"
Sam shook his head "Not yet." He said, turning his head away from us.
"What's wrong, Sam?" I asked.
"I just feel so helpless. I don't remember what happened. I keep wanting to ask why Cameron and Danny aren't here....but, then I remember what you told me." He said, letting his eyes close slowly.
"It'll all come back to you, bro." Ben said, nodding.
"That's just it. I don't want to remember them dying. I don't want to remember the fire. I want to stay the way it is now. At least then I won't have to deal with the pain of losing them again." He said softly.
Ben looked at me and shook his head.
This was killing both of us. We wished there was something more we could do for him. But, there was nothing. It seemed as though every time we thought things were getting better, something else had to go wrong.
I sighed and gave Sam's hand a reassuring squeeze. He returned the gesture and looked at me. "I'm sorry, James." He started. "I just don't know if I'd be able to handle remembering. I honestly think it might kill me..." His voice trailed off and Ben and I looked at each other once more.
Maybe him not remembering wasn't such a bad idea. I don't think Ben and I could handle losing anyone else. I don't know if we're that strong.
"It's going to be okay. I promise." I said once more.
But would it?
